Małgorzata Palczewska-Marcjanik Kl. II A gr. 2
Język angielski 17.04.2020
Subject: Jokes
Let’s try to understand some jokes in English. It could be a good task to practice your translation skills.
1. There are two seasons in Scotland: June and Winter.
2. Man lost in Edinburgh says to a policeman, "Excuse me is there a B&Q in Leith?"
Policeman replies, "No sir, but there are two Ds and two Es in Dundee."
3. In Scotland, we call a dog a dug. We take that O and make it a U. It's a slang term, but it's also a social implication in that you get dogs, then you get dugs. You get 'aww, look at that wee dog", then you get 'watch that f***ing dug!'"
4. Nobody thought Mel Gibson could play a Scot but look at him now! Alcoholic and a racist!"
5. There will be a lot of people watching who will wonder what does a true Scotsman wear under his kilt, and I can tell you a true Scotsman will never tell you what he wears under his kilt. He will show you at the drop of a hat.
6. I’m a big fan of the Mars Bar Diet. You don’t eat the Mars bar, you stick it up your arse and let a rottweiler chase you home
7. We had the Commonwealth Games in Glasgow. A great choice of venue: a place where people think Hepatitis B is a vitamin
8. Is it really folk dancing?" "Ah yes, folk dancing and enjoying themselves!
9. He decided to call his Scottish father-in-law the “Exorcist” because every time he came to visit he made the spirits disappear
10. In Scotland we have mixed feelings about Global Warming. Because we all get to sit on the mountains and watch the English drown
11. David Beckham sent the people of Scotland an open letter. An open letter – because he couldn’t work out how to get it into an envelope.
12. What's the difference between a lawn mower and a bagpipe? You can tune a lawn mower.
13. Las Vegas and Glasgow have a lot in common. They’re the only two places in the world where you can pay for sex with chips. cd. na kolejnej stronie
For volunteers I have an additional task.
The task consists in Polish-English translation exercises. Choose a typical Polish joke and try to translate it into English. If you like, send me your jokes to palczewska.zs9@wp.pl
Good luck!
