THE FOLK RITUAL OF THE CURSE
2. The Reverse of Parental Curse. A Child’s Curse
Dziecku nie wolno na rodziców coś mówić kiepskiego…
(A child may not speak ill against her parents…) Marianna from Choroszczynka May a child curse his or her parents?
Dzieci, to ja myślę, może i przeklno rodziców… ale co te dziecko, ono tylko grzeszy, bo czcij ojca swego i matkę swoją przecież odmawiamy w pacie-rzu. Przykazanie jest – to co ono może zakląć?! A czy ono sie przyjmie na rodziców, jak klnie? To ja uważam, że nie [40].
(Children, I think, may curse their parents… but it is only a child, it only sins [by cursing the parents], the prayer says… honour your mother and your father. The commandment says so, so how can a child curse?! And can it really do any harm by cursing? I don’t think so.)
Other interlocutors reply to this question in the following way:
“For such a thing God will punish the child” (“Za to już Pan Bóg ukarze jego”) [39] or “It’s no good, a grave sin, indeed” (“To niedobrze, to wielki grzech”) [37].
In light of these replies we may conclude that in folk moral code cursing the parents is a grave sin. Does it mean that folk ethics categor-ically prohibits children from cursing their parents, that such a curse is, so to speak, unjustified by definition? Before we attempt to answer this question, let us take a closer look at a different prohibition, akin to the one in question, the one we have already encountered in the True story… i.e.
the prohibition from raising one’s hand against the parents.
In the words of my interlocutors the child who raised their hand against the parents
To już w ogóle bluźnierca. O, za to może być odwet na stare lata. Może jeszcze za życia coś mieć… [38].
(He is a finished blasphemer. He may repay for it in old age. He may even pay while he is alive…)
Dawniej, jak na ojca, matkę podniósł rękę, to ksiądz rozgrzeszenia nie dał.
To już musiał jechać do biskupa [14].
(In the old days, when a child raised their hand against the father or the mother, a parish priest would not absolve their sin. Such a child had to go to the bishop.)
The punishment for this transgression (referred to as blapshemy, i.e. clearly defined as defying the sacrum) is irrevocable. The model pro-tagonist (Gienia, the wicked daughter) is punished by fire from heaven that forces her to repent for her sins. Weaker reflexions of this mythical punishment can be found in my interlocutors’ comments mentioning dif-ficulties in obtaining absolution of sins, or being the subject of “revenge in old age” (the person who fails to honour their parents will be treated in the same by their own children; this is another example of ‘the mirror principle”).58.
Here is a fragment of one more beggar song:
Wyrodny syn bez litości Uderzył w twarz ojca swego;
Staruszek upadł na ziemię Od ręki syna swojego.
Gniew Boży wkrótce nastąpił Na syna zwyrodniałego:
Obie ręce mu skostniały, Straszny ból w kościach od tego.
Wtenczas upadł na kolana Syn przed staruszkiem ubogim:
“Ojcze daruj, ojcze wstaw się Za mną ty przed Panem Bogiem!”
A ojciec mu odpowiada:
“Taka wola Pana Boga!
Zawiniłeś, więc cierp teraz!
To jest dla wszystkich przestroga.”
Syn tak z boleściami walczył Dwadzieścia cztery godziny, Skończył życie wpierw od ojca, Poszedł do ciemnej mogiły.
(A vile son with no mercy;
Hit his father on the face The old man fell to the ground Struck by his son’s hand.
And terrible was God’s wrath Against the wicked son:
Both hands went stiff And he cried with pain, And he fell on his knees
The son before his poor old man:
“Forgive me father Plead for me before God!”
And his father replies: “such is the will of God!
You are at fault so suffer now, This is a warning for all of us”
And for a whole day Did the son suffer And his life ended In a dark grave.)59
The causal sequence is clear: the son raises his hand against the father, i.e. which is the metonymy of killing – the hand stiffens, i.e. it is dead (the punishment falls to the “instrument of the crime”)60 – the wrong-doer dies an agonizing death. The punishment for (in this case symbolic) murder is the death of the offender; this punishment is administered by sacrum automatically (‘such is the will of God!” – “taka wola Pana Boga!”) because this is the order of things: breach of a specific prohibition entails specific punishment (“you are at fault, so suffer now!” – “zawiniłeś, więc cierp teraz!”). Even if the father intervened, if would not help, the verdict from heaven would not be reversed.
Below is an example of the sequence: killing of the father – withering of hands – painful death:
Za kilka miesięcy Pan Bóg karę daje:
Synowa choruje i więcej nie wstaje.
Ręce, które ojcu potrawę zrobiły,
Teraz jej się obie całkiem pokrzywiły, Nawet pożywienie trudno do ust bierze – O, popatrzcie dzieci, co się to z nią dzieje!
I w strasznych boleściach życie swe skończyła, Za starego ojca, którego otruła.61
(After a few months God sends his punishment:
The daughter in law falls ill and never rises from bed, Her hands which served her father his last meal,
Are both crooked and twisted, the spoon falls out her hand, And she can barely put food into her mouth,
O, look, children, what’s happening to her!
And so she died long and painful death For her old father whom she poisoned.)
The punishment for cursing/ beating up/ killing of the mother of father does not end with “long and painful death”; the punishment, as Gienia’s story has already suggested, goes beyond the grave:
O, straszny synu, Kaina plemię!
Syn zamordował ojca o mienie.
Strasznej pokuty za ojca trzeba, Aby móc trafić kiedyś do nieba.
A syn niedobry na śmierć skazany.
O Jezu Chryste Ukrzyżowany!
Co ja mordował ojca swojego, Oj, już nie ujdę ognia wiecznego.
A może ziemia ciała mojego
Za zbrodnię straszną nie przyjmie złego?
Żem ojca swego zgładził ze świata – Na cóż mi przyszło na młode lata? 62
(O, vile son, from Cain’s tribe!
A son murdered his father for his estate, Terrible penance the son must serve, Before he can enter heaven’s gate.
The vile son is sentenced to death, Oh, Jesus on the Cross!
I murdered my own father, I will never escape eternal fire.
May my evil body Be spurned by the earth,
For this terrible deed?
What will happen of me, at such a young age?)
The text is explicit about the consequences of “the terrible deed”
„strasznej zbrodni”: the soul of the sinner will be condemned, his body may be rejected by the (holy) earth. This rejection of the sinner’s body is closely related to curse (which will be examined in the next chapter). Let us consider an interesting link between the earth (grave), hand, beating up and a rod-branch.
W Wielkopolsce lud opowiada o krnąbrnym dziecku, które uderzyło matkę i za to po śmierci póty wystawiało rączkę z mogiły, póki matka rózgą jej nie obiła, a z tej rózgi zasadzonej na grobie wyróść miała brzoza [Fischer 1937: 63].
(In Wielkopolska they tell a story about a wicked child who hit his mother.
When the child died, his hand would stick out from the grave, until the mother beat it up with a rod, and when that rod was planted on the grave, a birch grew out of it.)
One of such folk tales says that in Gryżyna, a village near Obra
…stoi w gruzach już dziś (1846) będący kościółek św. Marcina, a obok niego stara brzoza, której obwód trzy i pół łokcia wynosi, szanowana od ludu i siekierą nietknięta. Do tego drzewa przywiązana jest legenda. […]
Niegdyś wieśniaczka miała złośliwe dziecię, które się na nią targało; nigdy je za ten grzech nie biła, owszem, pieszczotami obsypywała. Gdy dziecko ukochane umarło, pochowano je pod kościołem. W kilka dni po pogrzebie ujrzano rączkę dziecięcia wystającą z grobu. Spostrzegłszy to kopacz daje znać o tym matce i księdzu, który w stule i z krzyżem udaje się na miejsce, gdzie i inni także ze wsi zebrali się ludzie, i wszyscy przy zaklęciach i modli-twach schować znów usiłowali rękę do grobu. Na próżno; ręka wciąż z grobu wystaje i nad nim świeci. Dopiero pleban, jakoby z natchnienia, poradził matce ukarać chłostą tę rękę, która się na nią za życia targnęła. Matka więc, przyniósłszy brzozową rózgę, sama, acz ze łzami, obiła nią sterczącą z grobu rękę, po czym ta natychmiast do grobu się schowała, na świadectwo, że jedynie takiego domagała się zadośćuczynienia. Ku pamięci i przestrodze matka zasadziła następnie ową rózgę na grobie, a z niej niniejsza wyrosła brzoza. (Brzoza ta, jak doniosły czasopisma, uschła i obaliła się w r. 1875.) [DWOK 10, WKsPozn 2: 18].
(…there is a St. Martin’s church now in ruins (1846), and next to the church an old birch grows, three and a half cubits thick, the folk hold it in high esteem and would never come near it with an axe. There is a legend attached to that birch […]. In old times there lived a peasant woman, whose child used to beat her; she never beat him up for this sin, but remained kind to him and showered him with caresses. When her beloved child died, he was
buried next to the church. A few days after the funeral the child’s hand was seen, sticking out of its grave. The digger, having noticed it, tells the child’s mother and the priest about it. The priest, wearing his robes and holding the cross, goes to the tomb where other villagers had already gathered and they of them together, beseeching and praying, tried to push the hand back into the grave. All in vain; the shiny hand kept sticking out of the grave.
Only the priest, as if suddenly inspired, advised the mother to punish and whip the hand that used to beat her. So the mother took a rod made from birch twigs and, crying, whipped that hand which used to cause her pain.
The hand returned to the grave, as if to show that it finally received what it wanted. The mother planted the twig on the grave, as both a memorial and a warning That birch has grown from these twigs. By the way, the birch, as the newspapers said, withered and died in 1875.)63
It seems that beating children, apart from its explicit function (administering the punishment, “teaching discipline”) in folk culture also has a symbolic dimension. What could be the other purpose of the ritual of beating with twigs64 during annual holidays – Christmas and Easter, if not to strengthen children’s vitality? This is exactly the message carried out by the formulas accompanying hitting chil-dren and youngsters with rods on Palm Sunday, to give an example: “It isn’t me who beats you, it’s that willow. After seven days – a great day will come, after six nights – a great night” (“Wierzba bije, nie ja biję. Za tydzień – wielki dzień, za sześć noc – wielka noc”) [ES 3: 129], or “be healthy like water is, grow like a willow tree” (“budź zdarow jak wada, raści jak wierba”) [Moszyński 1928: 127]. These words clearly mean:
the one who is touched with a budding willow twig, will gain – thanks to the twig’s power (the beater is only an intermediary: “it isn’t me who beats you”65) similar properties. Here, ‘the act of beating is sacralized, and is endowed with the desired power to influence the object” [Tołstaja 2001: 123]. Thanks to ‘metaphorical transfers by word mediated by object” [Tambiah 1973: 219] some of the tree’s vitality is transferred to the human (“grow like a willow tree”).
Ritual beating sheds some light on a deeper, symbolic meaning of
“everyday” beating; it also helps us understand that folk tradition requires that corporal punishment be administered in the process of raising and educating the child: When the mother beats, she teaches a lesson (Kiedy matka bije, to uczy) [LB 4: 180]66. What is more, folk tradition situates it among benevolent acts, in a clear opposition to a curse – let us recollect the words of one of my female interlocutors from the region of Grodno:
– Ksiądz mówił: “Matka, jak już tobie tak naprzykrzy sie to dziecko, to weź rózga, utnij go tak, niech mu krew pójdzie z mienkiego miejsca, to, mówi,
nie okaleczysz jego. To sie zgoi. A przeklinać, mówi, nie przeklinaj. […]
Przekleństwo, mówi, nie błogosławieństwo. Jeżeli dziecko nie usłucha, to weź rózga, pociągnij go – i nie ze złościon.” […]
– Nie ze złością? Nie można rózgą bić ze złością?
– Nie można, nie. Tak spokojnie, o tak: “Nie rób tego. Nie rób tego.” I mówię: tam bić, gdzie Pan Bóg stworzył. O tu, kości nie ma, nie połamiesz. I tu sie zgoi [53].
(Cursing is not blessing! Take a rod and strike him that offends you! […]
the priest would say: ‘mother, if you cannot bear the child’s conduct, take a rod and hit the soft part of his body so that it bleeds, you will not harm it, it will heal. But beware of cursing, stay away from it … A cursing is not blessing. If the child does not want to listen, take a rod and strike him, but do not do it with anger. […]
Without anger? One cannot beat with a rod with anger?
– No, you can’t. You must stay calm, like: “Don’t do it, kid. Don’t.” And I say:
beat where there is soft flesh, no bones, nothing will break. And it will heal.)
The legend about the birch in Gryżyna contains the message that raising a hand against the mother may not remain unpunished. On a deeper, symbolic level it also teaches us that one who had not received the due number of life-giving lashes, must take them back after their death67; otherwise they will not be able to pass to the other world and will remain in the state of suspension between this and the other world.
The hand sticking out of the grave is a sign of such a state of “death that has not been completed”; while the tree growing out of the grave means that the souls has finally reached the other world.
It follows that parents should punish their children; many folklore texts indicate that this is even an imperative:
Byłaby jo, była, wsićkiej bidy usła, kieby mnie matusia gałązkom przesiusła.
Nie moja to wina, jeno mamulczyna, boć mnie nie karali,
pókich mała była [SLSJ:187].
(I would have been spared All of my misfortunes If my dear mother Used a rod on me
It isn’t mine,
But my mommy’s fault, That while I was a girl I was spared the rod.)68
The girl complains, having lost her virginity. A wandering beggar preaches:
Za te grzeszne słowa, za obrazę nieba Przede wszystkim winić rodziców potrzeba!
Z uczynkami swymi dziecko się nie liczy, Bo ojciec, choć widzi, za złe nie wyćwiczy.
I matka nie skarze jak trzeba dzieciaka, A przez to jest w świecie złego siła taka:
Jak dziecko wyrośnie, to harde bez granic, Rodzonego ojca i matkę ma za nic!
O, matko, ty matko, żebyś ty wiedziała:
W piekle będzie za to twa dusza gorzała.
Oj, żebyś ty była za złe rózgą siekła, Może byś swą duszę wybawiła z piekła.69
(For these sinful words that offend God Parents are to bear the blame!
A child does whatever he wants,
Because the father spares the rod, even he knows.
And the mother won’t punish the wayward brat, That’s why the world is so bad:
And the child grows up snotty-nosed,
Dishonours and treats lightly his own parents!
Oh mother, this you must know:
Devils in hell will burn your soul.
Had you punished evil with your rod, Maybe you would have saved your soul.)
There is a clear imperative to punish children; the parents who do not observe it, are threatened with the same penalty as their children:
condemnation.70 So, while a child “has to obey” their parents “have to punish.”71 The child who hit their parent and the parent who failed to beat the child (when it was required) awaits the same punishment. Both of them, “a bad child” and “a bad parent” fail to guarantee the proper transmission of tradition and the imprudence of both may put human culture at risk of turning into chaos.
Although it may seem peculiar, it is just a prove of consistency.
A child who is not punished (i.e. not raised in a proper manner) is a bad child – so, as we already know– a cursed child72. Such children fail to fulfil their obligations towards the parents no only while the parents are alive, but also after their death. They do not pray for the parents’
souls – and without such prayer it is difficult for the soul to reach heaven.
The parents must punish their children with the view of their own and their children’s redemption and well-being in this and the other world.
If the parents failed to do so, both – they and their children would be condemned.
Pan Bóg oddziela. […] Trąba zagra, i z grobu powstaną umarli, i sądzić Pan Jezus będzie umarłych i żywych. I biada tej matce będzie, która dzieci nie nauczała, ona będzie odpowiadać przed Panem Bogiem. A dzieci też będą odpowiadać [53].
(God divides segregates. The trumpet will sound and the dead will rise from their graves and Jesus will judge the dead and the living. And woe betide the mother who didn’t punish her children as she will answer for this before God. And the children will answer for it, too.)
The danger of condemnation as the punishment for the breach of the Fourth Commandment is particularly remembered at the same time of ritual year, at which the children are beaten with a rod?. New Year’s carols containing greetings, as well as the orations of the participants of the Polish Easter ritual of kurek (kogutek) dyngusowy (the Easter Monday cock), talk about the fate of the souls of bad children:
Pawle, Pietrze, weź-ze kluce, Pójdź do piekła, wypuść duse, Tylko jednej nie wypuscaj, Co zabiła ojca, matkę;
Choć-ze jesce nie zabiła, Ale sobie to pomyśliła.
Więkse to jest pomyślenie, Niźli złe uderzenie.
Bo się rana prędko zgoi,
A złe słowo długo stoi [Pleszczyński 1892: 189].
(Paul and Peter, take the keys, Go to hell and free the souls, But of them must stay there, The one that killed father, mother;
The one who thought about it, Evil thoughts
Are worse than hitting, As the wound is quick to heal, But evil words will stay for long.)
Let us look at different versions of this song:
[…] wsystkie duse rade były;
tylko jedna smętna była, co się na matkę zamierzyła.
Gorse, duso, zamierzenie, niźli samo uderzenie
[DWOK 24, Maz 1: 144].
([…] All the souls were full of joy, Only one in gloom, and sad,
Against her mother she almost raised her hand, O, remember the wicked soul,
that such intent is worse than the blow itself.) and
[…] Ino jedny nie wypuscajcie, Co ojca biła, matkę krwawiła.
Oj, żeby ja teraz ojca, matkę miała, Rącki, nozki to bym obmywała, Swoim warkocykiem to bym wycirała, A ten brudzik to bym wypijała
[Kotula 1970, s. 497].
([…] Keep one soul in hell, don’t let it go away, She beat her father and her mother bled, Oh, if my mother and father I still had I’d wash their feet
And dry them with my hair
And that dirty water I would drink.)
As if follows from the texts quoted above, hellfire is a punishment
As if follows from the texts quoted above, hellfire is a punishment