Family Pedagogy

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Family Pedagogy

Pedagogika Rodziny

Kwartalnik 7(4)/2017 ISSN 2543‐862X

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Redaktor naczelny:

prof. dr hab. Sławomir Cudak Sekretarz redakcji:

dr Mariola Świderska Rada programowa:

prof. dr hab. Jaroslav Balvin (Czechy) prof. zw. dr hab. Józefa Brągiel

prof. dr hab. Henryk Cudak (przewodniczący) prof. dr hab. Sławomir Cudak

prof. dr hab. Rick Eigenbrood (USA) prof. zw. dr hab. Arthur Ellis (USA) prof. zw. dr hab. Reinhard Golz (Niemcy) prof.dr hab. Ing. Emilia Janigova (Słowacja) prof. zw. dr hab. Anna Kwak

Prof. dr hab. Maria Machalova (Słowacja) prof. dr hab. Roman Patora

prof. zw. dr hab. Andrzej Radziewicz‐Winnicki prof. zw. dr hab. Łukasz Sułkowski

dr Mariola Świderska (sekretarz) prof. zw. dr hab. Joseph Zajda (Australia) prof. dr hab. Anna Żilova (Słowacja) Redaktor naukowy numeru:

prof. dr hab. Henryk Cudak

Redakcja „Pedagogiki Rodziny. Family Pedagogy”:

Społeczna Akademia Nauk ul. Sienkiewicza 9, 90–113 Łódź 42 664 66 21, e‐mail: mariouka@wp.pl

ISSN: 2543‐862X

Korekta: Emilia Śliz, Agnieszka Śliz Skład i łamanie: Jadwiga Poczyczyńska Projekt okładki: Marcin Szadkowski

Wersja elektroniczna jest wersją pierwotną.

Wszystkie artykuły naukowe w czasopiśmie zostały zrecenzowane zgodnie z wytycznymi Ministerstwa Nauki i Szkolnictwa Wyższego.

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DISSERTATIONS

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Pedagogika Rodziny, Family Pedagogy No. 7(4)/2017, pp. 718

Franciszka Wanda Wawro¹ Anna Lendzion²

The John Paul II Catholic University of Lublin

The Sociopsychological Situation of Teenage Mothers.

A Reflection on Social Support

Abstract: The analyses take into consideration both subjective (e.g. the characteristics of adolescence) and objective, including legal and environmental, conditions of the situation of teenage mothers. The findings concern the need for developing various and adequate forms of social support, taking into account the complexity of the situation of teenage mothers. This includes a particular call for improving the quality of educational activities, so that young people have an opportunity to become aware both of the con‐

texts of their life choices and of the responsibility for human life and its protection.

Key words: the situation of teenage mothers, the subjective and objective dimension of the condition of teenage mothers, social support

Introduction

The sociopsychological situation of teenage girls who have given birth to or are carrying a child is conditioned by a variety of factors, both subjective

1 fwwawro@kul.lublin.pl

2 anna-lendzion@wp.pl

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Franciszka Wanda Wawro, Anna Lendzion 8

(e.g. related to the characteristics of adolescence as such and the related psychophysical predispositions) and social – particularly related to family situation, attitudes of the parents, siblings, relatives and close friends, as well as the general cultural context of the young mother’s immediate social milieu [Wawro 2014]. Particularly important aspects also include those related to legal protection, applicable social policies, social aid policies and activity of family assistants [Jusiak 2015, p. 156].

The complexity and significance of the problem, evidenced in numerous diagnoses, reviews and studies devoted to the phenomenon of early motherhood, ought to stimulate more intensive efforts with a view to further ex- ploring the same, as well as to engaging in a relevant debate on the problem and formulating realistic praxeological guidelines in terms of a firm frame- work of effective social support. The considerations contained herein aim to contribute to this debate by reiterating two key aspects influencing the situation of teenage mothers. Although, by necessity, the description of the problem is brief, it will nonetheless point out the most crucial factors thereof.

Selected aspects of the psychological situation of teenage mothers

When attempting an analysis of the psychological situation of young mothers – either expecting a child or faced with the reality of just having given birth – one must above all take into account the complexity of the predicament stemming, to a considerable extent, from the fact that the same is experienced in parallel to adolescence. This particular period in a young person’s development is, in itself, defined by difficult processes marked with efforts to prepare for the requirements of one’s gender-defined social roles, grow towards emotional maturity and self-reliance, develop one’s intellectual capacity, acquire various competencies, navigate one’s way among various value systems and ethical norms, as well as prepare for a number of impend- ing important decisions regarding e.g. one’s future career. During that period teenagers are also faced with profound changes affecting their bodies which are related to radical processes of biological development whose specificity is particularly compex in the case of girls. As the processes can often be less than harmonious, the same can prove a difficult and stressful experience for a teenage girl. Therefore, adolescence is as a period of chal-

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The Sociopsychological Situation of Teenage Mothers…

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lenging biological changes that a young person is forced to cope with along- side the developmental efforts aimed at defining their individual identity, hierarchy of values and general worldview. As such, it is also highly conduc- tive of a variety of conflicts arising between adolescents and their immediate and more general environment. Teenage mothers who still find themselves struggling with an ongoing identity crisis (also related to the system of values), are additionally faced with the reality of pregnancy and the inevitable crisis related to the same. The precariousness of the situation can be further exacerbated by other emotional burdens originating outside the specifics of teenage pregnancy per se. These include family, financial and school situation [Grzelak 2006, p. 25].

Conceiving a child puts underaged parents-to-be in a highly difficult and stressful position. One of the inevitable consequences of early motherhood is a certain ambiguity and uncertainty concerning the teenage girl’s social status. The birth leads to the so-called social dislocation effect whereby a teenager is forced to rapidly “shift” from a familiar context of her previous life role as e.g. a child, student, friend – to a new, unfamiliar role of a parent, indeed often a single mother. Such a drastic change is likely to be quite overwhelming for the young person, leading to negative emotional response and sense of insecurity, often resulting in lowered self-esteem and decreased sense of dignity, i.e. emotions that entail distorted self-perception. Moreover, hormonal changes are prone to trigger feelings of chronic dissatisfaction and overly negative perception of one’s own attractiveness.

Being still very young people with virtually no life experience to speak of, teenage mothers naturally tend to be characterised by a certain emotional and social immaturity and an irresponsible attitude to life. And yet, they find themselves faced with a situation that demands not only taking full responsibility for their own lives but also for those of their children. A teenager only recently enjoying a sense of freedom and uninhibited potential is suddenly confronted with an entirely new reality and the burden of a profound responsibility that unexpectedly redefines her present social role. Further still, the same usually takes place under the considerable pressure and control of openly articulated social demands.

Under the new circumstances arising from the fact of early motherhood, the entire life of the young girl, indeed its very meaning, undergoes a sudden shift both in the personal and social dimension. It often happens that under these overwhelming pressures, the young mother may develop anxieties that

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could evolve into dejectedness, a sense of hopelessness, even clinical depres- sion. The increased susceptibility of teenage mothers-to-be to this type of disorders, stemming among other things from uncertainty concerning the pregnancy and the dilemma of whether or not to resort to artificially induced miscarriage, may at times provoke suicidal thoughts as well as stress-induced weakening of the organism’s defences leading to somatic diseases. The cu- mulation of negative experiences, particularly depressive states, may severely lower the mother’s interest in her own child and create a sense of disassocia- tion hindering the acquisition of necessary parental skills.

Legal aspects of early motherhood

The legal aspects of early motherhood are nowadays particularly important.

Formally, these mainly originate from the sphere of civil law, particularly family law, and the penal code. Meanwhile, sole motherhood is a category occurring in social and fiscal law. The Act of 25 February 1964 – Family and Guardianship Code – does not differentiate the rights and obligations of parents relative to their age. However, pursuant to Article 94 of said act, only persons having full legal capacity are entitled to hold parental authority, and the former is acquired at the moment of becoming an adult (Art. 11 of the Civil Code) or, in the case of minors, at the moment of marriage when over 16 years of age (Art. 10.2 of the civil code combined with Art. 10.1 of the Family and Guardianship Code). It is noteworthy to point out that adults are also liable to lose their capacity to perform legal acts under certain circumstances involving complete or partial incapacitation, which entails loss of parental authority. Therefore, one must disagree with the sometimes voiced theses claiming that Polish law discriminates against underaged par- ents, as the ratio legis of the institution of “full/partial legal capacity” is in- deed to protect minors against performing legal acts which, due to such persons’ inexperience, could go against their best legal interests [Łopatka 1991, p. 19]. Notably, legal acts performed by persons holding partial legal capacity, i.e. persons between 13 and 18 years of age, become effective upon au- thorisation by their legal guardians (so-called suspended ineffectiveness).

The situation of mothers younger than 13-years-old is worse as, by law, they possess no legal capacity whatsoever [Strugała 2017, p. 41].

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In the context of social and fiscal legislation one should mention the ability of underaged mothers to independently apply for social benefits, although such application must be authorised by a legal guardian. In terms of personal income tax, a single parent is eligible for preferential fiscal treatment whereby the child can be treated as a family member for the purposes of joint tax set- tlement [Jarząbek-Bielecka 2015, p. 64]. The same does not require the child to actually be earning any money – a single parent, when filling out their annual tax return, can take advantage of the preferential treatment by paying tax in the amount of double the tax due on 50% of their annual income.

Selected practical aspects

When considering the situation of an underaged mother yet to acquire legal capacity, one should do so in practical terms, in reference to issues that may prove the most problematic or ambiguous, such as:

– extending parental authority or guardianship over the child, – registering the birth with the Civil Registrar,

– choosing the child’s name and surname, – deciding about the child’s domicile.

In accordance with the Family and Guardianship Code, where at least one of the parents holds full legal capacity (e.g. if he child’s father is an adult), parental authority is assigned to that parent. If, however, none of the parents are eligible to hold parental authority over the child, a guardian is appointed by the court. Thus, in a situation where the mother is a minor and the father does acknowledge the child, a guardian must be appointed. Pursu- ant to Art. 149.1–2 of the Family and Guardianship Code, guardianship should be entrusted to a person indicated by the mother or father, and where no such indication is made, to one of the child’s relatives. The most common practice is to assign guardianship to one of the mother’s parents, provided that they are married. Factors that disqualify a person from serving as a guardian are listed in Art. 148 of the Family and Guardianship Code.

Notably, the guardian ought to keep the parents informed on vital matters concerning the child as despite their lack of formal parental authority, the parents are entitled to participate in childcare and education.

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Pursuant to Article 57 of the Act on Civil Status Records, the birth is registered, as a rule, by the child’s mother or father holding full legal capac- ity, but the provision later clarifies that a mother or father who is over 16 years of age is also eligible to make the registration. Under all other circumstances, i.e. were the parents are younger than 16 years old, the registration can be made by parents holding parental authority over the underaged mother, or her guardian. A mother who is a minor may, therefore, register her child’s birth on her own.

In accordance with Art. 59 of the Act on Civil Status Records, any per- son submitting the birth return includes a statement on the child’s chosen name(s) (up to two names). I.e. a mother who is a minor but over 16 years of age is able to independently register her child’s birth at the Vital Statistics Office an chose the child’s name. Although the provision extends the same capacity to the child’s father, in practical terms the same is highly unlikely as in the case of a minor, fatherhood requires confirmation by a Custody Court order. In the absence of the presumption that the mother’s husband is the child’s father (i.e. where the child is born out of wedlock), father’s information is entered into the birth certificate only upon legally binding acknowledgement of fatherhood or court ordered determination of fatherhood (Ar- ticle 61 of the Act on Civil Status Records). Where the court determination of fatherhood is not acknowledged, the father’s name declared by the person making the registration is entered into the birth certificate, and if no such declaration is made, the name is chosen by the registrar. In such cases the father’s surname is recorded to be the same as the mother’s.

The child’s surname entered into the birth certificate depends on whether the underaged mother is married or whether fatherhood has been acknowledged. Given that in a vast majority of cases a mother who is a mi- nor is not be married, nor can fatherhood be acknowledged at the time of making the registration, only such a situation will be discussed. The law states (Article 88.3 of the Family and Guardianship Code) that where the fatherhood of the child has not been determined, the child bears the mother’s surname. It should be noted that if the parents enter into matri- mony or fatherhood is acknowledged or determined by the court already after the registration, it is possible to change the child’s surname.

By principle, the domicile of a child under parental authority is the domicile of the parents or of one parent who has exclusive parental authority (Art. 26.1 of the Civil Code). If none of the parents have parental author-

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ity and guardianship has been established over the child, the domicile of the child is the place of residence of the guardian.

Importance of the social milieu, the moral and pedagogical dimension

The aforementioned psychological aspects of a teenage mother’s situation are closely related to the social dimension within which she has to function.

In an analysis of the correlations between psychological and social factors, one should take into account the particular significance of the parents’ attitude towards their child’s predicament, as well as that of the young mother’s peers, teachers or colleagues, and neighbours. In the first stages of motherhood, young women are in dire need of emotional support, most likely greater than even before in their lives, for which they look to their closest as well as more general social milieu. However, the most common reactions to the news of a teenage pregnancy involve shock, anxiety, even panic, as well as other, distinctly negatively tinted emotions. The consequence of the above is that a teenage girl expecting a child is forced to face not only the crises inherent to her own adolescence but also those normally associated with full, responsible adulthood. In this context, the first natural question is how to pro- ceed. The teenage girl is thus confronted with a dilemma: should she have the child or terminate the pregnancy? The decision ultimately reached tends to be greatly dependant on her socioemotional situation, particularly the opinions and pressures from her social milieu with regard to this problem.

One of the key aspects of the experience of early motherhood relates to the necessity of redefining one’s entire lifestyle, which entails the loss of youthful freedom and the fact that one can no longer engage in behaviour typical of teenagers. The consequence is a certain acceleration of the young girl’s personal development. This requirement to suddenly enter the world of adulthood can have a negative impact on the young mother’s still developing identity, and in consequence disorganise her personality, disperse and distort her self-perception [Bidzan 2007]. The teenage girl is faced with the rigours of the extremely chal- lenging, lifelong obligation of motherhood before she has had a chance to prepare herself for this task, explore various potential paths in life, or develop a solid basis of self-defined values and hierarchies. All the above factors may deeply mark the young woman’s mental self-image with a sense of helplessness which is only exacerbated by the many frustrations bound to stem from the

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sudden detachment from youthful behaviour and peer contexts, and can ultimately jeopardise the mother’s future relationship with her child.

The particular socioemotional immaturity which is naturally inherent in adolescence is likely to significantly influence the teenage mother’s initial response to pregnancy. In the context of the above deliberations one could also venture that her behaviour is bound to be affected by the burden of premature expectations of adulthood. It is also noteworthy that the immaturity of teenage mothers is also often conditioned by any general deficien- cies of the process of adolescence as evidenced e.g. by deficient family relationships, poor emotional control, or construction of a distorted self-image.

Generally speaking, teenage mothers are often girls characterised by considerable difficulty in establishing interpersonal relationships, low reflectiveness, problems at school, or inability to foresee the potential consequences of sexual activity. All of the above contributes to a situation wherein a young girl faced with the challenge of raising a child begins from a highly disadvan- taged position of immaturity, instability and lack of self-reliance.

As observed in research conducted to date, at the earliest stages of pregnancy girls are likely to react with denial or stubborn defiance. Any chance that the young mother may have to gradually learn to accept the new reality as the child continues to grow inside her, and therefore to cope with the accelerated but at least somewhat less abrupt shift towards maturity and responsibility, is greatly dependent on the attitudes and reactions of her social milieu, especially parents, other family members, teachers and peers. A com- passionate and supportive social environment facilitates not only the im- provement of the teenage mother’s overall psychophysical condition but also the development of her emotional attachment to the child. The ideal situation which portends well for the lasting and responsible acceptance of the motherhood role would entail the development, already at the stage of the growing child’s first movements, of a unique bond between the child and the mother, which however is conditioned by the latter’s psychophysical capacity and optimum emotional comfort. A gradual acceptance of the new reality and development of the natural bond between the child and the teenage mother are factors necessary to ensure a young woman’s sufficient mobilisa- tion to undertake the tasks of responsible motherhood and further strengthen her decision to have the child (regardless of any earlier pressures she may have experienced from her closest and more general social milieu advocating abortion).

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As follows from the deliberations so far, an important role in the reduc- tion of the stress experienced by teenage mothers when faced with their new role is played by social support. Said support can greatly facilitate the acquisition and acknowledgement by the young girl of her innate motherly capacity, and strengthen the natural feelings of love and joy associated with childbirth, thus adding to the sense of self-fulfilment inherent in the role of a mother.

However, the greatest threat observed nowadays relates to the growing social acceptance for attitudes negating the value of conceived life, which can impact a young mother’s decision to terminate her pregnancy. The dan- ger here stems from the fact that there is a certain social pressure which, although difficult to grasp, is nonetheless very strong. This only adds to a variety of other factors that may drive a teenage mother to opt for abortion, such as e.g. her living conditions, current and foreseeable life situation, as well as personal plans for the future.

Any woman, immediately after giving birth, experiences a powerful desire for support and strong dependence on her environment, which may lead to a more or less conscious desire to adapt to other people’s expectations and behavioural patterns. How then, given the above, can we expect a teenage girl, whose pregnancy is hardly a planned or expected situation, to cope with such circumstances? The pressure of public opinion can often become overwhelming for a minor already struggling with low self-esteem, leading them to think and act in accordance with the opinions and demands generally accepted in their environment.

Social pressure can be exerted both explicitly and implicitly. In the situation discussed here, such pressure can originate from the teenage mother’s parents, the child’s father, or members of her peer group. A young girl deprived of support in her immediate social milieu is unlikely to be able to make a truly independent decision, indeed is likely to be convinced that it is not her decision to make. In their immaturity, young mothers are susceptible to suggestions offered by people believing themselves better suited to deal with the problem. Out of trust for those on whom they are materially dependent, they might allow decisions to be made in their stead, even though the same will ultimately weigh heavily upon the rest of their lives. Among other forms of external pressure experienced by teenage mothers is loneli- ness, condescension or lack of acknowledgement of the precariousness of their situation. Unable to rely on the support from the people closest to them, young women are likely to choose options they perceive as the lesser evil.

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The problem of abortion among underaged girls may manifest itself differently depending on a particular girl’s age. In the case of a younger girl, it can be associated with a desire to build a closer relationship with her own mother by showing obedience and accepting the mother’s rejection of the conceived child. In turn, in older teenagers abortion can be viewed as an attempt to distance oneself from the mother, an expression of independ- ence. Abortion among young mothers is undoubtedly one of the burning problems of our times. Most teenagers are hardly mature enough to be making informed decisions that will impact their entire lives and should never be faced with dilemmas whose stake is the life of an unborn child. There are very few girls able to make the correct choice if deprived of proper support from their closest family, few are also capable of not giving in to the overwhelming, explicit and implicit social pressures on the sole strength of their desire to not to terminate. A teenage mother’s decision to have the child should be met with unwavering support at every step of the way by both her family and people in her more general social milieu. Only then may the young girl have a chance to successfully cope with the challenge of motherhood despite the countless obstacles and difficulties that she is bound to encounter.

A teenage girl’s pregnancy is usually a complete surprise to both herself and her loved ones. From the first moment when the young mother becomes aware of her condition, a process of rapid and irrevocable change begins which will have a direct bearing on her own life and the life of her child. In this context, the value of psychological support from parents and members of extended family cannot be overstated. This is particularly true in the first months of pregnancy when the young mother feels a strong need for acceptance and a sense of emotional and social security.

Even if a teenage girl’s pregnancy can hardly be viewed as a success, it does not have to and indeed should not be perceived as a sentence to a life of failure.

From the pedagogical perspective, in a situation of early motherhood one should do anything in one’s power to support the teenage girl, help her to come to terms with her new reality, and facilitate her transition into adulthood with all its demands and responsibilities. It is particularly important to develop an approach of varied but universal support from family members, school employees, peers, and medical practitioners.

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Conclusions

The support received by a teenage mother, particularly from her immediate family, is the primary source of her belief in the possibility that the turmoil of her present circumstances may indeed lead to future stability. The parents and other family members should be aware of the responsibility to provide the young mother with the psychological, moral, educational and material support she requires. Any deficit in this respect will facilitate discontinuation of school education, which is likely to lead to substandard quality of life in the future, possibly even social marginalisation.

It should be emphasised that the support and acceptance from the loved- ones is vital to a teenage mother’s self-esteem. Young girls need help in adjust- ing to the new situation which, beyond any doubt, qualifies as difficult. The future psychosocial condition of teenage mothers is therefore to a large extent dependent on their respective social environments’ ability to constructively respond to the multidimensional challenges of early motherhood.

Adolescence is a time when young people are particularly strongly ori- ented towards their peer group which plays a key role in the process of so- cialisation. For this reason, teenage friendships have a considerable bearing on the process of young mothers’ emotional and social development, even despite the undeniable fact that early motherhood unavoidably and drasti- cally redefines a girl’s life to a point where it becomes largely incompatible with the lives of average teenagers. In time, a young mother is forced to de- vote more and more attention to matters related to her pregnancy and the welfare of her child, and is likely to lose much of her former interest in problems typically preoccupying teenage girls. Time constraints related to e.g. her physical condition are bound to limit the young mother’s opportunities to socialise with friends, which however only adds to her need for acceptance. In light of the above, the ability of teachers and peers to provide adequate help and support is of crucial importance. Even though she is already transitioning to the next stage in her life, a young girl still longs for social contacts and acceptance from her peers, she needs to feel “normal”. Support from the school and close friends, coupled with good family relationships, can greatly increase the chances of the young mother’s continued education.

Early motherhood is a problem that continues to be observed in virtually any social context, be it national or local. Due to its specificity, complexity

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and the magnitude of its personal and social impact, it poses a difficult challenge to parents, teachers, educators, and peer groups, as well as social policy makers. Prevention in this respect ought to focus on preparing young girls for responsible motherhood, e.g. by providing them with constructive role models and increasing their sensitivity to the value of human life at every stage of its development.

The problem of early motherhood should not be considered in terms of educational success or failure. Instead, research ought to focus on in-depth analyses of its specificity and related circumstances with a view to improving the capacity of educational and state institutions for providing viable support in this context.

Bibliography

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Grzelak S. (2006), Profilaktyka ryzykownych zachowań seksualnych młodzieży. Aktualny stan badań na świecie i w Polsce, [online] http://ww2.senat.pl/k6/agenda/seminar/060424.pdf, War- szawa.

Jarząbek-Bielecka G. i in. (2015), Prawne, medyczne i etyczne problemy związane z ciążą młodocia- nych, “Polski Przegląd Nauki o Zdrowiu”, No. 1, 42.

Jusiak R. (2015), Pedagogiczny wymiar asystentury rodziny, [in:] E. Adasiewicz, S. Cudak, Funkcjo- nowanie rodziny w globalnych zmianach społecznych, Społeczna Akademia Nauk, Łódź.

Kucharski T., Palkij M. (2007), Charakterystyka porównawcza wybranych cech osobowości młodocia- nych matek i uczennic liceum ogólnokształcącego, [in:] J.A. Malinowski, A. Zandecki (eds.), Środowisko – młodzież – zdrowie. Pedagogiczne i psychologiczne wymiary zagrożeń i rozwoju mło- dzieży, Akapit, Toruń.

Łopatka A. (1991), Konwencja o prawach dziecka a prawo polskie: materiały z konferencji naukowej zorganizowanej w gmachu Sejmu RP w dniach 19–20 marca 1991 r., Warszawa.

Słyk J. (2017), Komentarz do art. 94 kro, [in:] K. Osajda (ed.), Kodeks rodzinny i opiekuńczy. Ko- mentarz. Przepisy wprowadzające KRO, Komentarze Prawa Prywatnego, t. 5, Warszawa.

Strugała R. (2017), Komentarz do art. 15 kodeksu cywilnego, [in:] E. Gniewek, P. Machnikowski (eds.), Kodeks cywilny. Komentarz, Warszawa.

Wawro F.W. (2014), Środowiskowe zmienne społeczno-kulturowej kondycji współczesnej młodzieży, Press, Lublin.

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Grzegorz Ignatowski¹

University of Social Sciences

Issue of Shame in Education and Social and Professional Life

Abstract: Many older people deplore the fact that the sense of shame is systematically disappearing from our public space. Specialists from human emotions and educators, however, argue that shame, especially intensified, can be a source of humiliation as well as antisocial attitudes. For this reason, all opportunities to generate a sense of shame in one’s private, social and professional life should be avoided. Neither is it a good educational tool that can be applied by pedagogues. It should not be used to coordinate the work of any group. It should therefore be the responsibility of the peda‐

gogue to eliminate and oppose all situations when a young person is embarrassed.

Key words: emotion, shame, education, manager.

Initial remarks and the phenomenon of the issue

Each observer of everyday life usually deals with problems that appear in the broadly understood social discourse. We approach all those who complain about onerous legal and organizational regulations with understanding. Doc- tors, teachers and educators must constantly fill in a whole lot of documents.

1 gignatowski@spoleczna.pl

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Grzegorz Ignatowski 20

Therefore, they cannot effectively engage in their most important duties:

treating patients, teaching, raising and deepening their competences. Thus, it is difficult for them to go deeper into the issues that are important, if not the most important, to them. They undoubtedly include ethical issues that con- stitute the foundation of the group's effective functioning. Let us mention here such phenomena as lying, progressing distrust of the partner or unreli- ability in the performance of one’s duties. Seeking a deeper explanation of contemporary sources of anxiety and social deviations, some ask whether lack of feeling of shame is not one of them. There are several reasons for this hypothesis. Perhaps the most important is the fact that this issue has practically been eradicated from public discourse. More, lack of shame in many environments seems either something ordinary or praiseworthy. How many famous people do not hesitate to say that they are not ashamed of anything. Behind the aforementioned statement are the words of the famous Spanish writer Miguel de Cervantes that it is better to have shame on the face than a dark stain in the heart.

We note that the lack of a sense of shame has many names. It is enough to observe social life, or at least its manifestations which can be seen on the front pages of newspapers (also published on websites) or broadcast by ra- dio and television. There are men who are not ashamed of their “one-night stands”. They speak openly that they betrayed their wives, had mistresses.

With a smile on their faces, they introduce us to the secrets of their bed- rooms, closed not so long ago. Women are proud to talk about former part- ners. Lack of a sense of intimacy and readiness to talk about bizarre feats is not just about sex life. How many times do we hear about the “heroes” who, against all the prohibitions, raced along the narrow country road. Going to work by tram, one can hear how somebody got off at work, one’s burden- some duties were pushed to another person. Apparently with a smile, sometimes with pity we sometimes look at how many people are eager to show their flaws in various types of journalistic programs. In the light of the cam- eras, they reveal all deformities, sometimes in very intimate parts of the body. Therefore, are we not allowed to believe that these cases find their manifestation precisely because of the lack of a sense of shame? Let us ask if we do not see its manifestations in the way of speaking. I do not mean the lack of diligence in the statements of artists, writers and politicians. I have in mind more and more frequent cases of vulgar words on the lips of other people. Namely, even among the closest family, and the more so among

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Issue of Shame in Education and Social and Professional Life

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strangers, it is acceptable to use curses in otherwise reasonable sentences and opinions.

The above remarks, resulting from the creative image promoted by the media, should not, however, lead us astray. It is our obligation to ask whether the feeling of shame has been eliminated from our everyday private and social life. It turns out that it would be completely wrong to say so. The author of this paper, wanting to verify his beliefs, appealed to the opinions of students who dealt with the issue of shame in classes in the ethics of professional life. The studied group consisted of students from such fields as psychology and sociology. A hundred and fourteen people took part in the study. When asked whether in the last period of time (two weeks) they felt shame or not, interesting answers were obtained. Specifically, as many as 98 people said that they felt shame in the recent past. Only 6 subjects indicated that they were never ashamed. It should be added that ten respondents stated that they do not remember the circumstances to be ashamed of anything at a particular time. The obtained results are therefore the main reason for addressing the issue of shame in the further part of this article. The goal is to identify in the second part what shame is and what its effects are. The third part indicates potential consequences of shame in the group, both school and professional. Author’s insights and conclusions close the article.

Concept of shame and its effects

Shame, like other emotions, is culturally conditioned. It has its levels and diverse reasons. It finds its expression in our language, attitudes and varying personal reactions. The conviction that fewer and fewer people are ashamed has been verified on the basis of own research. The phenomenon has not disappeared from everyday vocabulary. On the contrary, it is vividly present in our statements. We will meet it when we hear that a given person has eaten or burnt in shame. The second expression (about a person who has burnt in shame) means that a person afflicted with that feeling felt very embarrassed. Katarzyna Głowińska [2000, p. 570] gave several other examples of saying that a person feels embarrassed: “She would burn with shame if someone saw her naked”. Of course, we realize that nudity as such is becoming more and more a phenomenon that does not require stigma today.

As we have noted above, sometimes it is even exposed. The second of the

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phrases sounds much more contemporary. It is about a man who was has eaten shame. The existing situation is explained by Głowińska [2000, p. 330].

She writes that it refers to a situation where a person has suffered a lot of unpleasantness, usually not directly and not because of his or her misdoings.

We read in her work that parents can eat shame because of their child while talking to the child’s teachers at school. The author also gives another example: “The court sentenced Arletka to stay in the correctional home until she reaches adulthood, i.e. for three years. The parents ate shame, because the court in its final statement subjected them to crushing criticism as the educators of the rogue”.

The analysis of several significant encyclopedic entries allows us to state that the feeling of shame is not often discussed in this type of studies. We meet it in older publications. In the Polish Dictionary [1981, p. 773] prepared by Hipolit Szkiłądź, Stanisław Bik, Barbara Pakosz and Celina Szkiłądź, we read that shame is usually an unpleasant and humiliating feeling caused by

“the awareness of (own or someone else's) wrong, pitiful conduct. It appears after using the wrong words, or after realizing one’s own or somebody else’s shortcomings, mistakes, etc.” Shame is most often combined with the fear of some unfavorable opinion. By adopting such a definition, we are talking about a false or burning shame. Other people may be ashamed, burn, ignite, blush or get flushed with shame. We also meet (at least in the linguistic sphere) with opposite attitudes. Of course, on the one hand, people can bring shame on their families by their actions, and on the other hand, they can save them shame. There is also a situation when, guided by a sense of embarrassment, they can admit to what wrong act.

The above-mentioned Polish Dictionary provides some interesting phrases related to shame. Namely, we read that a person has eaten or swallowed shame. A person who is insolent and does not count with moral principles

“has no shame for a penny”. When we are in a situation where we condemn an attitude, behavior or articulated words then we say “shame, it's shame”,

“what a shame” or “you should be ashamed”. In addition, one can be ashamed or get shame. It refers to a person who is embarrassed by their own behavior. When we want to stress the wrong behavior of a given person or express the distance to words spoken by them, we sometimes say, “aren’t you ashamed?” or “don’t you feel shame”? Sometimes it happens that we want to point out that one should not do something or watch something.

We say then “it’s a shame to talk about, do or watch something”.

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In order to gain a broader perspective, let us also pay attention to the Dictionary of Polish language [2000, p. 545] almost twenty years younger from the previously mentioned, which was edited by Bogusław Dunaj, Olga Woł- niło and Anna Sikorska-Michalak. It does not directly discuss the issue raised in this work, but gives some interesting examples in verb form.

Namely, a person may feel shame or embarrassment. One can be ashamed of their appearance. One is ashamed for the conduct of one’s children among other people. It also happens that a person is reluctant to talk about the place of their work or feels embarrassed when their lie gets exposed. We understand that it is rare that today a person feels ashamed when they are lying. Much more often they will feel uncomfortable when the lie will comes to the light of day. An attentive reader will notice that in this article we have used several synonyms of the word ‘lie’. There are many more synonyms, just like a situation when a person is ashamed.

The above considerations of linguistic nature, supported by previous research, allow to clearly emphasize that the feeling of shame is not an abstract subject. The next step in our analysis should be to answer the question of reasons for shame in our personal and social life. The author of this article asked his students what they would be ashamed of most in their lives.

The respondents could answer that they would feel embarrassed by: poor grades, the fact that they do not read too much or do not have a modern smartphone, a vulgar language, imperfections of their bodies.

It turns out that young people, according to the results obtained, would be ashamed of any flaws of their own body (68 subjects). All critics of attitudes and values professed by young people would be surprised by the information that young people see the value of the book in their lives. 20 respondents said that in their life they would be ashamed of the fact that they do not read much. This is confirmed by the next result obtained. 14 people would be ashamed of the fact that they have poor grades in their studies. Let us add that only one person would feel embarrassed by the lack of a modern smartphone. The next information must cause anxiety. Specifically, young people (11 people) are not ashamed of vulgar language. This may testify to the disavowal of our everyday vocabulary. In this respect, the vulgarity and indecency that arise in political, family and professional life are not without significance. Summing up the obtained results, let us add that the respondents had to choose situations that clearly indicate their values. Our study thus confirms the belief that spiritual values are still important for today's

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adolescent youth. On the other hand, the perception of the greatest reason for shame in the imperfections of one's own body leads to another statement. We are aware of the fact that contemporary culture, based on worship and cult for the body, comes to surface here. Among other reasons, let us mention the impact of advertising and all kinds of promotion.

We reminded above that the feeling of shame is culturally conditioned.

Regardless of all this, we must state that it has some general, universal manifestations that can be felt in all circumstances. It is about the external dimension of shame. Agata Błachnio [2008, p. 2] mentions here the lower voice when we are making topics that are embarrassing and the lack of decisive- ness clearly noticeable in the utterances. In the articulated sentences, we notice the disturbance of the continuity of thought. It is about staying half- way through the utterance or making longer pauses. Remaining in the sphere of externalized manifestations of shame, let us mention its symptoms, such as speaking fast or sudden bursts of laughter. At the same time, it is worth noting the suggestion that in education one should take up the issue of the analysis of laughter and its external manifestations [Ignatowski 2016, p. 158].

Let us stop for a moment on the issue of starting shameful topics. Błachnio mentions also such external symptoms as covering with both hands parts of the face, evasive, thus avoiding contact with eyes or looking away. A common manifestation of embarrassment is blushing.

However, we can not close the article here because shame, as any other phenomenon of an emotional nature, should be considered from two per- spectives: explicit and unrevealed – internally hidden. This is recalled by the American researcher of the issue of shame, Holly VanScoy. Relying on human emotion specialists such as Thomas Scheff and Suzanne M. Retzinger, she points out that people who have to externalise shame tend to hide it at all costs, both from others and from themselves. It is in these circumstances that we encounter the phenomenon of speech disorder. It is characterized by stuttering, repeating the same words or appearing breaks in the statements.

Other external manifestations of shame include drooping one’s head or turning it away. There is a blush on the face, we see a head turn. Speech is sometimes barely audible. The second kind of shame – also called ‘circular’

does not lead to communication disorders. In such situations there is an inner experience and preoccupation with emotions and, consequently, a lack of concentration on important and current events. In both cases we deal with emotional pain [Kemper 2005, p. 79].

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The issue of shame should be considered not only because of its external and internal manifestations. The gender should also be explicitly accounted for. Specifically, women and men experience shame differently (and for various reasons). Generally, women have a greater tendency to hide shame.

They prefer to suppress it than externalize. The opposite is true for men.

They usually have a tendency to experience and externalize their embarrassment. Anger or hatred are more easily manifested. Clinical psychologist Mi- chael Lewis believes that the main causes of shame in women are feelings such as the conviction of the lack of attractiveness or excessive perception of personal failures in dealing with other people [VanScoy].

Let us pause for a moment with the shame associated with sexuality.

Thomas Scheff and Suzanne M. Retzinger believe (thinking of women) that this emotion is more common in victims of single rape, acts of violence and notorious sexual abuse. There is something unusual about the fact that the victim of sexual violence usually feels more embarrassed than the perpetra- tor of the aggression and assault. Having men and their sexuality in mind, it should be stated that they feel ashamed when they become convinced of their own imperfections. Of course, it is not just about the shortcomings of having sex. Shame also appears in men when they see uncertainty or under- valuation in their conduct [See VanScoy].

In general, it should be noted that shame has many negative effects. One of them is definitely a negative impact on our creativity and professional development. For if a man is not sure of his value, he does not see the pros- pects of development in his company. One of the conditions necessary for one’s own development is undoubtedly the sense of freedom, including the inner freedom as well, while shame always limits the freedom. The fear of shame prevents one from taking any action. In this context, one cannot forget about its disastrous influence on the relations with the environment.

A man who is overcome with shame is unable to establish authentic relationships with other people. He looks for ways to keep distance with his colleagues at all costs, he does not seek to establish closer relationships.

In addition, the feeling of shame also affects our treatment of other people. It does not only lead to closing in oneself. On the contrary, it makes us want to embarrass others. As an example, let us give the situation when a mother who feels embarrassed because of her own imperfect body will criticize her daughter for the way she likes to eat and dress. In this way, she pushes the feeling of embarrassment from herself. Parents who feel embar-

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rassed because of negative and publicly known behavior of their child, will scold it for negative and positive behaviors. A husband who had a difficult day at work due to the fact that he was embarrassed by his boss, uses the same tactics in relation to his wife and children after coming home [Nelson 2016, pp. 1–2].

To conclude this part of our considerations let us say that shame is often considered in the context of guilt. It does not mean that both emotions consequently lead to the same effects. A person who considers themselves guilty claims that that they did something wrong. However, a person who is ashamed will be convinced that it is he or she that is bad. As a result, there is a change in identity and, as we have seen, a change in relations with the environment. In addition, shame does not disappear after forgiveness. It is different in the case of guilt. Shame, in a way, inosculates with people [Kemper 2005, p. 79].

Shame and social and professional life

Despite many negative consequences of shame, there are also opinions that effective use of the tool of embarrassing other people, can bring positive effects, also in education. It should therefore be considered in a positive as well as a negative context. Its positive influence is usually referred to in the context of ethics. Specifically, shame would be then an expression of our positive reaction to certain ethical values and standards in relation to which we express embarrassment or even contempt as we are ashamed of our own acts that we do not accept. Indirectly, therefore, shame leads to emphasizing all that we accept and what constitutes our admiration and appreciation. The statement (allowing to consider the issue of shame on the ethical level) refers to the studies of the American researcher of human emotions, Thomas Scheff, who claimed that man constantly experiences pride or shame in his life. The latter is a negative reaction to the moral judgments of other people that relate to our lives and reactions, to attitudes accepted and rejected by our living environment. When we follow the norm, we experience pride. It is different when we do not observe standards. Then we feel shame [See VanScoy].

The division of shame, which allows to look at its manifestations not in a negative way is also important. Renata Szymik-Kudłacik [2012, pp. 1–12]

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writes about healthy and toxic shame. The first – healthy – is an ordinary human emotion. It informs us that “we have our limitations, it signals us where our boundaries lie”. Like all other emotions, also shame inspires people to meet their fundamental needs. No doubt one of them is to give life a specific shape. In order to fulfill this need, we should build a “system of borders within which we can live safely”. And in this situation, healthy shame, which informs us that significant barriers have been crossed, comes to our aid. Such situations are the fuel for positive action. The other shame – defined by the author as toxic – makes a person in constant conflict with themselves. Szymik-Kudłacik [2012, p. 1] writes that toxic shame enslaves man. It will result in disorders, both neurotic and characterological. The author emphasizes that “it subjectively is felt as an overwhelming sense of own imperfection, flaws”. She adds that a person man “feels worthless, like a loser, feels that they did not rise to the challenge as a human being”.

We must, however, be aware in these circumstances that the distinction between one and the other shame must be relatively difficult, especially in practice. For this reason, the negative effects of shame are usually empha- sized. There is no lack of suggestive advice on how to deal with the emerg- ing embarrassment or its symptoms. This is also the way one of the French guides follows, which presents hypothetical situations in which anyone who leads a professional group can find himself. The French scenarios presented in this article related to situations causing embarrassment, can easily be adapted to the circumstances in which anyone can be found.

At a meeting, a less experienced member of the group responds to a question that the manager could not handle. A shameful group leader would start to convince himself that he was completely obstructed. He would have added that he was a fool. Shame would make him want to rectify the situation and act as if the answer was obvious from the very beginning.

During the next part of the meeting he will do everything to be understood better. In order to eliminate the feeling of shame and realize his assump- tions, he should say that he had never met anyone in his life who knew the answers to all the questions. He would add that no reasonable person should expect him to know everything [Comprendre la honte en milieu de travail]. Each leader of the school group, e.g. drama group, should react in a similar way.

The manager begins to stutter during a very difficult meeting with board members. Shame would make him start to convince himself that he had probably lost his respect. He would say he looks ridiculous. If that were the

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case, the manager would be silent during the next part of the meeting, because he would not like to pay attention to himself. In order to avoid a similar situation, he should tell himself that being nervous is natural. He should add that he has never seen anyone who stuttered before. Actually, he would say, this is a funny situation. The educator, on the other hand, should pay attention to all children who suddenly start to stutter. After classes, he should show them how to deal with similar circumstances.

What would a shameful leader do if a report on the meager income of the company was published? He would have the thoughtful face of an experienced owner or teacher squinting eyebrow who suffered a severe defeat.

He would tell himself that he is a poor manager and would increase his actions, he would start working overtime to increase profits. Consequently, he would not talk to many people. He would close in himself, work after hours for too long, giving up his personal life. In order to avoid such a situation, he should tell himself that more attention should be paid to sales in the next quarter. He could admit that in the end someone has to be last. Indeed, it is difficult to accept the fact that you are the last one but you cannot do anything else but calmly fix the existing situation. Obviously, it is not difficult to imagine a situation when every student has to face the closing summary of the whole semester.

Let us imagine another scenario. In a certain situation, the manager made a remark which was considered too rough. Group members – in this case, some students during a break between the lessons – stop talking and look sternly at the culprit. A shameful person would adopt the figure of a grim father or teacher, nodding in disapproval of himself. He would admit to himself that he is foolish and has many shortcomings. Consequently, he would be exaggerating in an apology. He would like to convince others that it was a misunderstanding. In order to avoid the negative consequences of shame, he should admit that he had no bad intentions; remind himself that he is well known in the group and everyone knows that he rarely speaks in this way.

The last of the presented situations takes place during the meeting of the group discussing the progress in the implementation of the plan. Most of its members have spent a considerable amount of time to meet their commit- ments. The leader must confess that he has not fulfilled his obligations. The shame will make him think that he is not a good leader, that he is irresponsible and lazy. He will start to apologize too much for the situation while he

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should say that he has not actually started his part of the project yet. He knows, however, that he is responsible and will complete the task in full [Comprendre la honte en milieu de travail].

The situations outlined above show how dangerous shame is in its consequences and what depressive situations it can lead to. This is one of the fundamental reasons to reflect on the use of shame as a tool for organizing action. One should also mention the situations when its overcoming has only positive effects. Rightly, fewer and fewer people are ashamed of their work. It does not matter where they work. It is important that they have a job at all. There is no shortage of people who tell their roots today without embarrassment. Normally, a flat or being raised in a village ceased to stigma- tize people.

To sum up this part of the article, let us emphasize that embarrassment really belongs to negative emotions. Brené Brown, who has been dealing with the problem of shame for over twenty years, says that it is an expression of fear. It makes everyone realize that they are is uncertain and not good enough at what they do. People who are too ashamed tend to underes- timate their skills. They think they are worthless which is clearly shown in the situations that have been presented above.

Summary

Shame is a negative emotion. It sometimes happens that it is compared to guilt because both feelings concern a person who sees themselves in a negative light. We must not forget that an embarrassed student will be able (in an extreme situation) to think about themselves that they are totally ignorant.

An experienced employee of the company will find that he is a bad employee. If we add to it all such external symptoms as excessive blushing, sweating, and even faster heartbeat and breathing, it is worth considering whether the positive effects of shame can have any meaning. Nobody wants to be in a situation where they have to put their head down or take a defen- sive attitude. Even more so when they start to stutter or suddenly stop their statement.

Finally, let us say one more thing. Considerations regarding shame should be relevant to all parents and educators. Namely, when teaching or raising children, they are uncertain about their skills and competences, they

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will usually be inclined to make the children ashamed. There is no need to convince anyone that such situations negatively affect upbringing and the learning process itself [Kemper 2005, p. 79].

Bibliography

Blachnio A. (2008), Identyfikacja wstydu, [online] http://www.psychologia.net.pl/

artykul.php?level=82, access: 17 November 2017.

Comprendre la honte en milieu de travail, [online] https://www.strategiesdesantementale.com/

mmhm/pdf/Articles/Comprendre_la_honte_en_milieu_de_travail.pdf, access: 27 No- vember 2017.

Dunaj B., Wołniło O., Sikorska-Michalak A. (2000), Słownik współczesnego języka polskiego, Cyklady, Warszawa.

Głowińska K. (2000), Popularny słownik frazeologiczny, Wydawnictwo WILGA, Warszawa.

Ignatowski G. (2016), Fenomen śmiechu – przyczyny i skutki, [in:] E. Adasiewicz, S. Cudak (ed.), Współczesna rodzina w Polsce – zagrożenia i nadzieje, Społeczna Akademia Nauk, Łódź.

Kemper T.D. (2005), Modele społeczne w wyjaśnianiu emocji, [in:] M. Lewis, J.M. Haviland-Jones, Psychologia emocji, Gdańskie Wydawnictwo Psychologiczne, Gdańsk.

Nelson H.D. (2016), 10 Things You Should Know about Shame, [online] https://www.crossway.org/

articles/10-things-you-should-know-about-shame/, access: 3 December 2017.

Szkiłądź H., Bik S., Pakosz B., Szkiłądź C. (1981), Słownik języka polskiego, t. 3, Państwowe Wydawnictwo Naukowe, Warszawa.

Szymik-Kudłacik R. (2012), Toksyczny wstyd, [online] http://cps.org.pl/czytelnia/

psychoterapia/186-toksyczny-wstyd, access: 12 November 2017.

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Tetiana Horpinich¹

Ternopil State Medical University Ukraine

Health Promotion as One of the Basic Principles of Family Education in the USA

Abstract: The article presents an overview of the problem of health promotion in family education in the USA. The notions “health promotion”, “healthy lifestyle” and “family education” are analyzed. The main strategies and methods aimed at health promotion in the USA are investigated. The crucial role of family education in the maintenance of the health of all family members and formation of healthy lifestyle is also proved. Fam‐

ily is considered to be the main link in the formation of useful habits. The principle trends in modern American family education are defined as well as the role of school and society in health promotion within family education. It is proved that the main aspects of health promotion as a part of family education include proper nutrition, maintaining and improving emotional health of children, providing opportunities for outdoor activities, recognizing the critical importance of being good role models for the children.

Key words: family education, health promotion, the USA.

Healthy lifestyle is one of the main factors of human longevity. Unfortu- nately, in recent years, in many eastern European countries, a decrease in the average life expectancy has been recorded. Thus, promotion of healthy lifestyle is the only factor which enables people to increase control over their

1 tania.horpinich@gmail.com

Family Pedagogy

Family Pedagogy

Pedagogika Rodziny

Kwartalnik 7(4)/2017 ISSN 2543‐862X

Table of Contents

DISSERTATIONS

The Sociopsychological Situation of Teenage Mothers.

A Reflection on Social Support

Issue of Shame in Education and Social and Professional Life

Health Promotion as One of the Basic Principles of Family Education in the USA