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S P IS Z A W A R T O Ś C I T E C Z K I —
DL&CU ^faL'<na
I. Materiały dokumentacyjne —
1/1 - relacja właściwa —
I/2 - dokumenty (sensu stricto) dot. osoby relatora — I/3 - inne materiały dokumentacyjne dot. osoby relatora —
III. Inne materiały (zebrane przez „relatora”): —■
111/1- dot. rodziny relatora —
III/2 - dot. ogólnie okresu sprzed 1939 r. —
III/3 - dot. ogólnie okresu okupacji (1939 -1945) — III/4 - dot. ogólnie okresu po 1945 r. — •
III/5 - inne...
IV. Korespondencja —
V. W ypisy ze źródeł [tzw.: „nazwiskowe karty informacyjne”]
VI. Fotografie
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MY WAR
BY
HALINA OLECH
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THEAUTHOR HALINAOLECH
MYWAR
FORMYCHILDRENANDTHEIRCHILDREN
Manchester 1984
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BIAŁYSTOK,MAY1940
j J
TheArrest. _ ^
^ !&^V1 V '-iOn Monday 27th'in my hometownBiałystok,it was a beautifulhot sunny day.Aftera ąuick breakfast,my shoes in my handand a smali handkerchiefin the puffedsleeve of my bluesummerdress,I ran barefootedto a neighbouringmarket-garden-cum-nurserywhereI had beengiven temporaryworkin the hot house.It was ninemonthssińce the war had begun and the Russianshad taken overthisEasternpartof Poland,leavingthe Westernpartto the Germans.I had to interruptmy studiesin the VSoutherntownof Lwówand return homeas I was unable to finda job in my intendećf profession,Pharmacy,and I gratefullyacceptedany job thatwas going.Mostof the professionalpeoplehad alreadybeenarrestedor sentinto"voluntary"exile to Kazakhstanor Siberia.TheretreatingPolish Army,trappedin the Easternterritorieswerenow in PrisonerofWar camps deepin Russia.On Polish soileverythingwas in turmoil;familiestryingto escape Hitler'sarmyfound themselvesin unknownplaces,tryingto cross the new borderdividingPoland,as a result ofthe invasionof two enemy forces.Mostof themwerecaught bythe RussianBorder Patroland sentdirectlyintoprisons,childrentaken fromparents,husbandsand wives separated,buttheir directionwas alwaysthe same- East.On thislovelymorningnothingindicatedthata similarfatewas loomingahead for me. About10.00 o'clocktwo gentle-men visitorscamethroughthe gateand asked for the managerof the gardens.After a brief chatwithhim for somereasonunknownto me, I was given a hugebunch of freshly openedlilacs and toldto go withthese men to the HeadOfficesof theCityParks & Plantationswhich employedme. Happilyin myinnocence,withnot a wordto my mother or aunt(myfatherwasin hiding)becauseas a former headmasterhe had beenon the"wanted"listsińce the war started,i walkedalongsidemycompanions.One I knewto be the former managerof the CityParksDepartment,the other musthavebeen,or so I thought,thenew managerwho had beensentby the Russiansto replacehim.Insteadof taking me by the usual route to the Officesinthe hugeparknearZwierzyniec,we turned lefttowardssomenew modernbuildings,one of whichwas the Headąuartersof thedreadedNKWD,later the KGB. The man unknownto me was Russian,he grabbedmy arm and turned withme intothe entranceof the
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______________________________________\Xbuilding,at the sametimesnatchingthe lilacs fromme and'thrustingthemintothe armsof the astonishedsentry.Mr.Graal,the man I knew,was leftbehindon the pavementmakingstrangesigns and saying somethingI could not understandlike"I'11 let yourfamily know". I was rushedup the stairsintothe smali Office,the key turned in the doorand mycaptor did not waste muchtimeon explanations. Pointingtothe window and vaguelyin the directionof our home,he saidin broken Polish "Youwillnever see yourhomeagain".The horribletruth slowlydawned on me - I musthavebeenarrested.So thisis it. Stillnot believingthatthismeant serioustrouble,I listenedas he bombardedme withstrangeąuestions.Whatdid he wantto know,my lifestoryor my viewson the politicalsituationor perhapsmy brokenromance!?He did not speak Polish and I did not understandRussianso after a couple of fruitlesshourshe and twoothers tookme in an elegantlimousineto the town's prison.
PRISON- BIAŁYSTOKANDJOURNEYTOMIŃSK
The Russianwoman warden greetedme with"Oh,anotherofthese girlrevolutionaries?". She snatchedmy watch frommywrist,ringfrommy finger,eventhe hairgripsweretakenout of my hair.I was fingerprintedand photographedwitha number round my neck.FinallyI was taken to a big airyroom,fuliof women of variousagessittingon the floor and thewooden platformrunningalong one sideof the room.Everyonewatchedmy entrancewithgreat curiosityand in silence.I was too shockedto talkto themand juststood there.Theyhad noticedmy suntan,the white marks where my wrist-watchhad been,the white bandon my finger,a reminderof mybeautifulringand suddenlyeverybodywas asking ąuestions."What was I herefor,why had I no other clothesor luggagewithme, was it niceand warmoutsideas I had no stockingson my legs, etc."In turnI learnedthatmostof these womenwerecaught at the new bordertrying to cross to Warsaw orfromthe Westhoping to jointheir familiesherein theEasternhalfof the dividedPoland.Herewe all were,unable to communicatewithour families,forbiddenany letters,parcelsand visits.One kindsoullentme a cardigananothera piece of towel.No mattresseswereprovidedand we had to sleep on the barefloor.Theausteritywas not the hardestthing to accept;the possibilityof any communicationwithour familieswas out of thequestionunder Sovietlaw.Thatwas unbearable!! I was unable to eat evenmy meagreration of daily breaa,whichwas eagerlytaken and shared by my companions.Theyknewby experiencethatthe newly arrestedcould not facefoodfor a longtimeso theyenjoyedthe extra mouthfulswhilsttheycould.I knewwhatterribleanxietymy familymustbe suffer-ing.I learned later thattheyhad broughtand tried to passsomemoreclothingto me knowingwhatI was wearingwhenarrested.The answer at the gates was alwaysthe same"Niet,Nitchevonie nuzno,vsiochorosho".(No,nothingis needed,everythingis provided).After fivedaysthe now familiar"sobierajsiaz wieszcczami"(come withyourbelongings)was shoutedat me and the doorofthe big celiwas opened.I had no "wieszczej"(nothings)totakewithme! I returnedthe cardiganto the kindladywhohad lentit to me and I was guicklyled to the waitingblackprison van which was driven at speed to the railwaystationwhereI was led to a specialprison wagon.There was a smalicompartmentwitha barred doorand at the other end,justunderthe ceiling,a smali barredwindow.NKVDarmed guardswerepatrollingalong the corridor.The night was coldand I wasgiven a blanket.The train startedmovingto the East.Thatwas it. I was in the depths of despair,I was being taken outof Poland to the dreadedRussia,I was leavingmy country,myfamily and my life. Blissfully,my body'sdefencemechanismtookoverand I fellintothree daysof sleep.Theywokeme atregular intervalsto giveme somebread and tea and again I fellintooblivion.After three dayswefinallyarrivedat the townof Mińsk,the capitalof Bialorussia(WhiteRussia). It was stillonlyJune2nd,sunny,warmand fragrantof which smali glimpseswereshowing throughthe cracks of the prison van now taking us fromMińsk Stationto the prison - a great,medievalfortress.Inthe centreof thisformidablebuildingI was unloadedintoa cobbled sąuare.There I stood lookingto foursides of rowafter row of smali barredwindows,which silentlylooked backat me. Asalways,checkingand re-checkingmy name,surname,my father'sname(a veryimportantpartof identification), theguard tookme and lockedme in a smali empty room. All thewalls werecoveredwithscratchednames,addresses,dates etc.mementosof the many,manypeoplewho had passedthisway.Afteradding my nameand date,scratchedwitha smuggledsafetypin (nosuchobjectswerepermitted), I sat on the floor,terrifiedof being leftalone and prayingto be taken to a morepopulatedceli.Herethe black thoughtfilled me again,tormentingmy young
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*'i cconscience.I was the cause of all the anguishmy family—<\mustbe going throughbecauseof my arrest.Our family wassucha close-knitunit, protectingme and my sisterDanafromall the unpleasantthings in lifein the outsideworld.I could not accept. thisbrutalshatteringblowto our ownpeacefulworldat home.
MYFAMILYHISTORY
My father was a Headmasterof a big school for boys,the best. in town. For manyyears he had beena Councelloron the local Council,a well-knownand respectedcitizenlookingafter the EducationDepartment,My motherhad diedwhenI was onlynineyears old and my father remarriedthreeyearslater.My maternalgrandmother,bornSkłodowskawasninety whenthe war startedand ąuite senile.Longbeforethatwhenstill mentallyalert but chair-boundafter a badfractureof the hip,she was a holyterror to her maids andher daughtersbut verykindto her little orphans,as shecalledDanaand I.Alwaysready to tellstoriesof heryoungerdayswhenas a young teenagershe was delegatedtoreadand amuse her youngercousin Mania - the futurę MadameCurie-Sklodowska.She toldus how Mania,her sistersBronia,Helaand brotherJosef werealsoorphanedwhentheir motherdiedof Tuberculosisfor which there was no cureother thantrips to Switzerland.Not everybodycould afford that.The family estate "Sklody",somehow disappearedand mygrandmothermarriedKonstantySrzedzinski(mygrandfather).He alsocamefroma family of verylongancestry.He wasdeprivedof his landby the Russiansin 1863for a veryserious crime,he fought againstthe oppressorsin the famous upris-ing.Not onlywas his estate confiscatedbut he himselfwassentintoSiberianexile for fiveyears.Duringthose yearshis first wifedied, leavingtwo children.Thenhe marriedagain,MissBolesławaSkłodowska(mygrandmother). Her fourdaughterswereWanda,Maria,Helena (mymother)and Apolonia,all but one diedbefore her.Firstto go was my motherwho diedin 1928.Her remain-ing sisters,our belovedaunts wereveryloving andprotectivetowardsus. EvenZosia,Aunt. Wanda'sdaughterrelentedand allowedus to playwithher dolls,a strict.lyforbiddenpleasurebefore.Asshe was fifteenwerespectedher wisheswithoutąuestion.Afterour father remarriedweacguiredan extensivenew family of uncles,aunts and cousins.Theywerevery kindto us and acceptedusstraightawayas partof their ownlarge family.Theywereveryloyal and veryhelpfulto eachother in manyways.Webecame close to our new cousinsandstill keepin touch to thisday.Sadly,Witek was killedduring the fierce battleof Lenino againstHitler'sarmy,at twenty-onehe was justthe right age for our occupantstoconscripthim intotheir army.His brotherLeszekand sisterŻonka still livein Poland,so doesmy elder cousin Zosia (on my mother'sside), wellin her seventiesnow.
LIFEIN MIŃSKPRISON
Sittingon the floor of thatempty celiI was thinkingofthe summer of the yearbefore.Almostevery summer holidaywe spent at our Aunt'sfarmon the south-eastborderwithUSSRprovince"Wolyn".It is hardto describethe charm ofthese sleepingvillagesdotted amongstthe gentle hills.Fields fuliof ripeningwheatand oats, yellow withfloweringrape, bluewithflaxand pinkwithclover;the hot summer suntinglingwithsky larks songs had a magicaląualityunforgett-ablefor manyyears to come.There,withour cousinsLeszekand Witek weusedto cycle to neighbouringhistoricalplaceslikeZbaraż,Wisniowiec,Krzemienieclooking for signs of thelonggoneromanticpastso beautifullydescribedby our classicauthor Henryk Sienkiewicz.Tired after cycling in the hot sun we would go for a swimin the river Horyn or on occasionsin the BorsukiLake.Atthe age oftwelve I learned to swimin thatRiver Horyn notmuchwiderthanmy own smaligarden,but these memories,broughtbackin the empty dirty littleceliwerelikesharpneedlesof hopelesspain.Lifeto be forgott.enforever.I was not leftin thatempty celifor longiSoonthe guard opened the doorand after the customarycheckingof my nameand "otchestwo"(myfather1s first name)tookme along an endlessempty corridorwithlotsof closeddoors,eachwitha little"Judas"window.Now and thenwe metanotherescortedprisonerwho had to obeyordersto "turn andfacethe wali".Sometimesit was me who had to facethe wali,possiblyto avoid any chance of recognition.One would notbelievethatbehind those heavy finał lookingdoors,weremasses of peoplesguashedlikesardineson the barecementfloor.We stoppedat No.39 celiand I was pushedinside.Theceliwas roughly 6'xl8'witha smaliglasslesswindow highupon the oppositewali.Sittingon the floor againstbothlong
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■' )A0wallswerehalfdressedwomen of variousages, all twenty-—two of them. The heatwas suffocating.Thesewomen,cladonlyin brasand briefswerefanningthemselvesconstantlywithwet towels in order to create a draught.Every eye was uponme, not verywelcoming,anotherbodyadded to an already overcrowdedroom!I alsoreada lot ofcompassionin their silent stares.Asthere was no roomforme I stood againstthe now closed doorand tried to breathesomefresh air coming through the cracks of the woodenplanks.It did not helpme much.Black spots starteddancingin front of my eyes- at thismomentthe guard opened thedoorwithour supper - I fellright at his feetin a deepfaint.He was shaken enoughnot onlyby thisbut evenmoreso by the loudshrieksof protestsby all the others in theceli, complainingbitterlyof the inhumanconditions.Theycried thatnot onlywas there not enough roomfor everybodyto lie downon the floor at night but evensucha freecommodityas fresh air was rationed.In factthe smaliwindowsgaveso littleair thatabove the doorwas a ventilatorshaft intowhich fresh air was pumpedfor a few hoursa dayand again at night,for the restof the timewedared notbreathetoo deeply in order to saveoxygen.Wetried to sittightly by the walls to allow freepassageto the doortothe bucket,coveredby a piece of cardboard(afterall wehadto use it onceor twice a day)and it was right under theJudas window,the onlyplace the guards could not see.My spectacularintroductionto the Mińsk prisonhadsomeeffect.Nextday weweremoved to celiNo.40, twice asbig. Thiscomfortdid not lastlong. Becausethisceliwasbiggertheysoonstartedpushingin moreand morepeople andin no timewe werejustas sguashedand half-suffocatedasbefore.The onlyrespitewas the daily tripto the bigcommunaltoiletswhich possesseda luxury.. three coldwatertapson the waliand one washbasin.Firstly,after washingthe unbelievablydirty floor,westrippedand tookturns to havea ąuick washunderthose life-saving taps, washour clothesand returnedrefreshedto theceli. The celiin our absencehad had a ąuick search by theguards in casesomeforbiddenobjectswerehidden likea needle,pen,scissors,mirror,gun(?),etc.Oncea weekweweretaken to the big shower room. Eachwas given a pieceof coarse soap.It was verydifficulttowashone's hairwiththisprimitivekindof soapbut at leastwe feltcleaner.Wet piecesof towellingand other garmentswerefor swingingin the hot air of the celi, drying and at the sametimecreatinga draughtin the suffocatingair.-"'IMosteveningsthere was anotherevent - halfan hourofexercisein the highwalledprison yard.For thatwe had toput on our dressesand shoes and walkin circles.Aslongasthe weatherwas fineall was well.Later was uncomfortablefor me as I had no warmclothing.By now we had got to knoweachother better.On my leftweretwo school girls,17 yearold Mietkaand WandziafromPińsk.The other sidewas occupiedby Lala, a young bride fromWilno.She had beenherelongerthanme and was moreexperiencedin the lifeof thisparticularceli. She wantedto separateme fromRoma,an 18 yearold countrygirland a bully.Romawas enviousof anybodyfromthe town. LaladecidedthatI would stand no chance withher and the generałopinionwas thatLalawas right.Thenthere was a nun,a verysweet and saintlyladypray-ing constantlyon her rosary beadsmadęof crumbsfromherbread ration.She was prayingin the hopethatRomawouldchangeher bullyingwaysand of course,for our speedyreleasefromthis"Dante'sInferno".Furtheralong thissidewas a middle agedlady, a former Headmistressof a Girl'sGrammarSchoolfromWolkowysk.No longer youngshe found it veryhardto adapt to these harsh conditions.Nextto her was "CrazyClara"-who had freąuentoutburstsof crying,swearingand shout-ing at the guards.She terrifiedeverybody,guards included,withher predictionfor the nearfuturę (very bad indeed).The youngestwas 16 yearold Sarenka,the onlyJewish girl,fromLida. In betweencrying for her mother and father sheoften recalledhow her grandmothercould makefantasticfoodfromthe humblepotato.Their large family was verypoorandit needed a great dealof imaginationto surviveon theunvarieddietof potatoesand onionsserved in almost a hundreddifferentways.The foodin prison was verypoortoo,a monotonousdietof bread and coffee and a matchboxof sugar.Weoften com-plainedto the guards becausewelackedvitaminsof any kindand thisresultedin variousskincomplaints.Their reply wasalwaysthe same, "Andwhatwouldyou like, perhapssteak withmacoróni?"or, "nitchevo,Pryvykniosh"meaning,"Allright,you'11 get usedto it". Steak withmacoroniwas to themevidentlythe pinnacleof luxury.Betweenourselveswe oftentalkedabout food, exchangedrecipes,learningby heart as nopaper was permitted- for futuręuse. Futuręwas verysoonofcourse.Wepromisedto invite all fromthe celifor the feast.
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Vt'1*Month followedmonth and wewerestillwaiting.Not > having any communicationwiththe outsideworld nobody knewwhatwas happening,which way the war was turning.Tappingon the verythick walls wemanagedto talkto the Polish mennextdoor. I somehowrememberedthe Morsecode, unused sińcemy GirlGuide days,and on the other sidesomebodywouldinterpretit but theyknewnothingas no recentlyarrestedprisonerhad joined their celi.On our other sidethere wereRussianmen. TheirMorsewas morecomplicatedas there weremorelettersin theiralphabet,alsoas I could not readin Russianit had to betranslatedintoPolish by somewomenin our smali community,however,before I learnedthistheywereremovedand theceliwas filled withyoungRussianoffenders,mostlypick-pocketsand hooligansand wehad nothingin common withthem,to talkin Morse,orotherwise.Asa rulethe criminalelementwas keptwellseparatedfrompoliticaloffendersbutthe currentovercrowdingwithhundredsand thousandsof"guilty"Polish prisonersmadethisseparationimpossible.Wewerelearningfaston all sides."CrazyClara"often frightenedus withher occasionaloutburstsof shouting,swearingand crying.To amuse our-' selves and to takeour mindsoffdepressingreality,wetookto dance and drama.Manyof us still rememberedvariouspoems,booksand playsand eachnight someonesuggesteda theme.A programmewas ąuicklyselected"artists"chosen andthe problemof costumes,witheverybody'shelp, solved.Inone corner the performersweregettingready,the restsat asclose to the walls as possible,leavingthe middleelear asa stage.The magie momentarrivedwhenMietka,the schoolgirlfromPińsk opened the showwithher dance.No IsadoraDuncanhad greateradmirersthanMietka.Evennormallysulky peasantwomen in the corner or bully Romaor "CrazyClara"dared whisperanythingother thanwords of absoluteenchantment.Next,somecoupleswalked round and round in a majesticPolonaise,sungsoftly by the audience.The costumesmagicallyconstructedfrombitsand piecesgladlyofferedby all,added colour and scenery.ThenWandziathe other schoolgirldid a few recitationsfrom"PanTadeusz",a classicepicby our own and famous poetof the19thCentury,loved and admiredby all Polish people.Outsidethe celidoors the guards werepushingeachother fromtheJudaswindow to see whatthe crazy Polishgirls woulddo next.Theystillthoughtof us as a "Pany",the oppressiveclass of landlordswhich had to be punishedat all costs. 'miswas tneir or to beprecise,their Government'sexcuse toinvade Polandin 1939. Nobody explainedto themthat"Pan"is a title,likeMister in Englishand thatis the correctwayof addressingany male,or"Pani" to any female,whois a strangeror acąuaintance. "You" or "Ty"was reservedfor a friend ora colleague.Every day whengiving us our daily bread ration theytried to talkand ask us manyąuestionsabout our lives.Itwas simply beyondthemto believethatonlyone of forty inthe celiwas a landowner.She was an old ladyof 65 and heronlysin was thatshe had morelandthanwas permittedbyRussiandecree.She was classifiedas a "Kulak"and put inprison.Her husband,a grown daughterand son werealsoarrestedand she lostcontact.withthem, naturally.The factthattwo of the others werenurses,two wereschool girls,onea headmistress, two students,fivelandworkersand one a doctor,the remainderjusthousewives,theysimplyfailedto understand.Theywereyoung men "borrowed"fromthe armyfor thisspecialemergencyand doing their duty.Theywerereasonablypolite,never cruelbut verypuzzledindeed.The Interrogatorsor "Sledovatiely"werea differentkettle of fishaltogether.Everyoneof us had to go throughthe interrogationto establishthe grade of crime,connections,etc.It was mostly at nightwhenthe dooropened noisilyandthe voice called"Whois hereon letterM"? Severalanswersfollowedbut onlyone was right."YouMotoszko,whatis yourfirst name,whatis yourfather'sname? Comewithus".Thejourney in the black box never lastedlongbut it gaveuschanceto breathfresh air.You could hearthe normal soundsof a townStreet, children'sshouts,other carsovertakingus.Unbelievablythere was normallifeoutside.After severalof these interrogations, whereI deniedeverythingon principle,theyfinallybroughta girl,my formercolleaguefrommy school who had stayed for the night in mylodgingsin Lwow.She was in her capacitya courierin theResistanceMovementbut I stood my ground firmlysaying I didnot knowof her politicalinvolvement.I toldthemI was theonlyfriendlysoulin a strangetownso for thisreason I wasthe obviousperson to offer her a bed for the night.Whethertheybelievedme or not was immaterial,the truth wasestablished.Severalweeks later I and seven others werecalled"with yourthings"and sentto a differentpartof theprison.There on the corridoran officialcameout and readto us our sentence.
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SENTENCEANDTRAVELTOASIAH' In Russia no juryis necessary.I was sentencedto 8 years in a Labour Camp,or IspravitielneyLagera.Wewereled to a celiin a differentwingwhere theykeptprisonerswho-hadbeensentencedand wereawaitingtransport.So wespent the whole month of January1941in a big dampceliwhere condensationwas constantlydrippingdownthe walls,formingpuddleson the floor.Weweregiven slattedplat-forms,often usedin the baths and somemattressesfilledwithwoodshavingsto keepus dry.Nevertheless, all of uscaught colds,aches and pains in the joints,often withhightemperatures. It.was now verycoldin the celiand I receivedan additionto my summer dress.Somekindly celimategaveme a blackwoollendress and a pairof silkstock-ings, anotherpresentedme withher spare underslip;yetanothergrabbedthe onlyone thinsingle blanketin the celi(prison property)to protectme fromthe 30 degreescentigradeof frost outside.These girls weremagnificent,ready toshare their proverbial"last penny"witha moreneedy person.I do hopethatlifewas kindto themas it changedfor me,almost a yearlater.After 4 weeks we wereagain called out,a slightlydifferentgroup thistimeand led to the courtyardto joina verybig assembly.Manyprison vanswerewaiting,obviouslyour transportwas ready.Aswe werewaitingin neatlinesone of the guards cameto me recognisingas governmentpropertythe blanketovermy shoulders.It was the end ofJanuary,the frost was severe and seeing thatI onlyhad a dress,silkstockingsand court shoes,totallyinadeąuategearfor the Russianwinter,he tookpityon my shiveringframeand broughtme a heavy great longsheepskincoat,withhood,the kindoften usedby the sentriesin the watch towers orby the horse-drivensleighs.Sleighs,called "dorożki"wereverymuchin use for passengertransportin thisbackwardBialorussiantown, motor taxis werehardly known.I was verygratefulfor thisman's gestureand the price-lessitefn of clothingwhich literallysaved my lifeand ofseveralof my friends.It lastedfor two Russianwintersandserved us all well.Soonafter the inevitablecheckingand endlesscountingand re-countingwe wereloaded again intothe black prisonvansthendriven to the familiarprison coaches.Theyconsistedof a longcorridorwithcontinuousbarred partitionswithsmalicompartmentsfor 8 people.Eachcompartmenthad i 1 ^eight hardbencheswhich served as platformsfor sleepingatT * night.The hardsurfacedid not troubleus as wewereusedto it. The constantpatrolby the guards checkingon ourevery movementwas lesswelcome!After two daysthe trainstopped- wewerein Moscow.Loudshouts of"Everybodyout"and we werehurriedoffthe train.Thenthere was anothercommand"Sitdown" whichsurprisedeveryone- sit where,surelynot on the dirty snowon the platform?The shouts wererepeated,thistimewithrifles pushingdownthe slower ones.After countingand re-counting,we werereloadedoncemoreintothe waitinglorriesto takeus to anotherstationon the other sideof Moscow.A similartrain was waitingfor us.The journeylastedtwo weeks travellingacross snowycountry,Crossingnumerousrivers to the Uralrangę of moun-tains.After a short stopat Swierdlowskwe had reachedtheend of our journey.There was a compulsarystopin a snowedup empty landscape;the train could not negotiatethe hugesnowdrifts,there was no food, no water,no heatfor two daysuntil the rescue train managedto force its way to us- a veryunimportantcargo.The nexteveninga new order was shoutedalong the train,"disembark".It was pitchdark,a blizzardwas raging,nobody knewwhere to go. After jumping intothe deepsnowwetried to follow the voices.Nothingwas visible.My heavysheepskinkeptme warmbut I did-not notice thatbothmy shoesweremissing.After gropingin the snowaround me I foundbothof themand carriedthemin my hands for safety,my feetwerenumbanyway.A while later somelightedwindowsappeared,the barracksof a transitcampcameout of the blackness.Insideold hands werewaitingto givehelp.Somebodyliftedme on to the table,tookoff my frożenstockingsand startedrubbingmy legswithsnow.Soonhalfofmy skinwas rubbed off and feelingreturnedslowly,withterriblepain.For the nexttwo monthsmy legswerebadlyswollenand fuliof blisters,the onlytreatmentofferedin thesickbay was vaseline.Februarycame, it was still verycoldbut verysunny.Our barrackshad no floorboardsand wereterriblymuddy.Onbothsides weretwo-tierbunk-platformsfor sleeping,onenever knewwho you weresleepingnextto. On my right was a girlwho had a habit of pushingneedlesintoher arms,shewas trying to commit suicide.Assoonas the needleswereremovedin the campambulatoriumshe managedto findanotherand do the sameexerciseagain.I was terrifiedthatone day
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or night she might do the sameto me - as I had no suchplanszfor my futurę I moved awayfromher nearer to my companionsfromMińsk.AKMOLI NSKCAMP For WomenPolitical Prisoners
The timecameto leave thistemporarycampnamed Karabasto a morepermanentplace,to workout our sentencesand tobe re-educatedto a correctand onlyway of RussianCommunism.Our timecameand nameafter namewas readout,mostof mycompanionsfromMińsk wereincludedin our group.A bigtractorwitha platformwithbenchesstood waitingon thetracklesssnowoutsidethe campgates.A large group ofabout60 was called and loaded and a slowdrive startedinthe early morning.Justbefore nightfallwearrivedatAkmolinsk,some40kmeast.It was a verycolddrive.Assoonas we could not feelour feetwejumped off the slowmovingplatformand ran behinduntil the circulationreturnedto our half-frożenlimbs.My big funny sheepskinkepttherestof me warm.At the hugenew campwewereallocatedto the dormitorybarracks.There weredouble storied4-peoplebunks withstraw filled mattresseswaitingfor us. There weremanybarracksof varioussizes,somehuge, somemuchsmallerandas welearnedlater,servingdifferentpurposes.Manywerefor sleeping,verymanyfor work.There was a canteen,a kitchen,a hospital,a sewing factory,a bakery and manymore.To the Soviet Governmentthiscampwas a show-pieceto anybody who cameto admire their unigue marvelloussystem.Thiscamparose fromthe baresteppe,built by women,notjustany women,by"TheWives".There is a law in thisparadise(RedRussia), thatif a husbandis arrestedfor a politicaloffence,his wifeis automaticallygiven somepercentageof his sentence.Somehowit is always 3,5 or 8 years.I do not knowwhathappensto the wifeif the husbandis shot, perhapstheyjustwound her.The childrenas a rulego to the State orphanages- Big Brothercares for everybody.I was lucky indeed to cometo thiscampin preferenceto others - all the women,nearly 2000of themwerehighlyProfessional.We had manydoctors(200originally), writers,teachers,translators,artists.All shared the samemortalsin,their husbandswerearrestedby Stalin in the famous1937Trotskipurge.Graduallythose whose skills wereneeded — j *likedoctors,designersand engineers,weresentto othersmaller camps.The day after our arrivalwe wereissued withsomewarmclothing,padded jackets,padded trousers,someunderwearandoversizedboots.Early in the morningafter hot "tea" - infactit was water- and a pieceof breadwe weresentto work.On three sides of the campwas a frozen lakecoveredwiththick reeds.These weresupposedto be cut withsickles.Thesnowwas verydeepand the prescribednormwas 40 sheavesa day.Freshlyarrived froma longstayin the prisonand halfstarvednoneof uscould possiblyworkthe fulinorm. After12 hours diggingin the snowand cuttingthe reeds I managedto do all of the 4 sheaves.We had leftthe camp"Zone" at4 o'clockin the morningand we returned,togetherwiththeguard,the dogsand the rifles at 4 o'clockin the afternoon,thenoff to the canteen for a mealwhich consistedof some"kasza"(porridge)plustheir specialversionof tea.Our effortsprovidedthe campwithits onlysource offuelfor heating,cookingand drying dampclothingafter theday's work.The fulinormentitledus to the fuliration ofbread,unfortunately, we managedonlyone-tenthof it, so thepiece of bread for the nextday was verysmali indeed.Theirslogan "Theone who doesnot workdoesnot eat"was a veryrealone!The blizzardswerestillsevere and frombarracktobarrackand to the toiletsthere was a longropestretchedtohangon to for safety.My first day at workdid me no good.I camedownwithPneumoniaand was taken to the smali camphospital.The lifeherewas on ąuite a differentlevel.Seven women doctors,fournurses and a cleaningwoman lookedafter 20 or so patients.The primitiveresourcesdid verylittleto treat sickpatientsbut the goodcaretaken by thedoctorsand nurses countedfor a lot.The staff alsooftendroppedin for a chatasking us Polish girls about lifein theWest,of which theyknewnothing.Theyadmiredour hairstylesand above all our frillyunderwear.One Russianpatientinmy wardwas a translatorfromRussianto French and English.Anotherwas a trapezeartist in a circus and she indeedhadseenpretty underclothes, so wemusthavebeentellingthetruth but whenI mentionedthatthe yearbefore my cousinZosia and her doctor husbandhad holidayedin Yugoslavia,takingtheir car for the wholesummer,my temperaturewastaken again lateeveningto makesureI was not too ill.MyAuntiewho was a teacher had alsotaken partin a tripto Italywitha group of other teachers,was too muchfor everybody,-
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or r
I'd decidedlyhad a relapse.Soonthough I was wellenoughto return to work.The end of Marchcame, coldbut sunny.The temperatureoutsidewas rising and a new projectwas in storę for uscalled "Sniegozadirzannie". Delayingthe thaw.Nextmorningalmost everybodywas sentfar intothe steppe along snowed uprailwaylines, miles intothe horizon.Unfortunatelyno-onetoldus why the "oldhands"worefunny Eskimo style home-madesun glasses.All day we shovelledhighsnowridges parallelto eachother." The purposeof thiswas to delay the meltingof the snowfor an extendedperiodin the Spring,thusassistingirrigationin the dry area.All these hugesteppeswerecultivatedfor cereals.Atthe end of the day wecouldhardly walkbackoverthe deepsnow, not onlywalkingwasimpossiblebut mostof us sufferedterribleinflammationofthe eyes, the snowblindness.No helpthistime(from a veryunfriendlydoctor)and no bread either.My temperatureshotup again,my facewas coveredwithsnowblisters.Hereakindfriend found me and tookme backto the hospital.Thedoctorsand nurses hardly recognisedme, shouts of horrorgreetedme "What havethose devilsdoneto you in three shortdays? Welet you out lookingąuitehuman and now this"!I did not knowwhatwas the matterwithme thistimebut ittookanothermonth to bringme backto reasonablehealth.WhenI was finallydischargedMay was in, Spring,sunnyand golden.The grass was green and the formerlyfrozen lakeazure blueand fresh reeds weregrowing.I was classifiedfor "internaloccupation"in futurę.The nextassignmenttookme to thte great factoryofwinter.garmentrnaking.There weretwo modelsof these.Onewas called a Fufajka,an early versionof the presentdayanorak.It was madefromverypoorblack cotton.Nylonwasunknownin those days. The paddingwas of crude cotton wool.The other model was moreelegantlycut,a double-breastedthickishjacket withpockets,collar and buttons.My job wasto pressfiatvariousseams at differentstages of work.Allitems werenumbered,eachone carefullynoted,as everythinghad to be countedfor the finał total.Thatin turndecidedhow muchbread you receivedat the end of the day.Girls oneither sidewerepushingme withmy partof the workas theythemselveswerein a great hurry to achieveas muchfoodaspossible,so for the first timemy normwas over100%andwhatis moreI had justabout enough food.A glass of milkor one sweet bun madea lot of differenceto a chronicallystarvingyoung girl.Onlythere and thendid I put a black curse on all slave work.Shifts lasted12 hours a day or night.The nights wereparticularlyunpleasant,three breaks in 12 hours wereinsufficient,two of 10 minutes,one in the middle of 20minutes.No matter how tired I was I could never sleep morethanthree hoursin the day thenthe slightestnoise wokemeup and thatwas the end of my sleep.The nightmareof thecomingshift was approaching,the horror of yet anotherlongnight was looming and my nerves werecompletelyshattered.Duringthe longest20 minutę break I was under the table onthe pileof halffinishedgarmentsfastasleep- soonsomebodywas shakingmy arm,timeto get up and backto my heavy 4kgironagain and carry on pressingthose beastlyseams untildaybreak.In the morningwedid not haveenough energy leftto dragourselvesto the canteento try the famous extra foodweearned so bitterly.In Julystrangerumourswereheard - there was talkof a new war. The newsof Hitler'sattack on Russia spread verymysteriouslyand guickly,theywereat war at longlast, thosetwo devils.We Polish girls wereoverjoyedwiththe renewedhopeof our releasebut the Russianwomen wereterrifiedofworse times to come.These poorsimpleRussianfolkknewnothinggoodor happy,theywerealways oppressedby their ownTzars or their own commissars.AMNESTY
The Mayski-Sikorskipactwas signed in 1941at the outsetof the German invasionof Russia.GeneralSikorskiwas withthe Prime Ministerof the Polish Governmentin exile in England.Mayskiwas the representativeon Stalin'sside.To saveallthe Polish people,thecapturedarmyand hundredsof thousandsof civilianfamilieswas impossible.Manyhad alreadydied,perishedin labourcamps,coalmines,goldmines or throughfaminę and illness.These people in the vastregionsofSiberiaand Kazakhstanxhad committedno crime so the amnestywas a strangewordto use for allowinginnocentpeopletomovearound.Manyweretoo weakto movebut those who couldtried to go South where the Polish armywas assembling.Theycame, halfdeadand in ragsto be taken by the newlyreorganisedarmyunder GeneralAnderscommand.Orphansweretaken to the orphanages,civiliansgatheredin the specialcamps and wereeventuallysentto Africa and India for thedurationof the war. All able-bodiedmen and women joined
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variousbattalions,companiesand hospitalsorganisedduring■ the winter of 1941-42.And indeed after three months,slowly,group aftergroup was releasedintothe world outside.Firstlythoughsomemoreworkhad to be done- for sometimeI was senttothe kitchen.During my first weekmy job was to drawthewater fromthe well;two of us wereneeded to operateit,one to winch up 25 buckets,the other to empty themintoa big barrelon wheels,thena horse pulled it to the boilerroom. We tookit in turns,it certainlylooked easyfroma distance,in factit was backbreaking.The nextjob was inthe tea room. Fourbig cauldronsof constantlyboilingwater,the firebeneathwas attendedby one girland watersuppliedby another.Ten big barrelsfilled the restof theroom. One barrelwas under the trough and anothergirloutsidewiththishorse and barrel-likecontraption,deliveredfresh waterall day.Soonthe receivingbarrelwas over-flowingand I had to pourthe extra water intoother barrels,all 1600bucketsof it.Peopleworkingin the kitchenshad their bread rationcut by.half.It really stands to reason,if you are workingnearthe veryheart of the matter,namely kitchens,you arebound to pinch someextra foodhereand there.Aseverybodyhad an empty jam jar in their pocketany opportunitywas a goodone.I filled my jar at the end of the day withleftovers fromthe kitchenand tookit to my friend Janka.Wesat at the end of the bunks and ate,in return,Jankamadedaring expeditionsin the middle of the night,behindtheperimeterfence to the forbiddengardens.Being veryslimshe rolled under parallelrowsof barbed wirestretching12 feethighwithsimilarpricklywalls of about 4m apart,constantlypatrolledby guards withdogs. Assoonas theyturned cornersand the sentryon corner tower was not looking Janka and a few others raided the gardensand rolledbackin a flash sharingthe lootwithclose friendsin thebarracks.Had the guards turned for a fractionof a secondsooner,Janka and the otherswould havebeenshoton thespot.We werestill waitingfor our release,in the meantimeharvesttimewas approachingfast. All workersfromthefactories,embroideryworks,the shoefactoryand manyothersweresenton to the fields to cut corn, dig potatoesandelear up the gardens,doubly importantin viewof approachingwar. I and manyothers weresentyet again to the lake, nowdry and completelyovergrown,to cut morefuelfor the winter. Withgoodweatherthe daily normwas accordinglyraised to 90sheavesper day.Ready to start columnswithguards and dogsall waited justoutsidethe maingate. Workstartedąuicklyenough,eachof us marked an individualrow of ready to countsheaves.Verysoonthe littleareawas exhaustedand we hadto movefurther on intoa moredenselycoveredpatch but notbeforethe supervisorenteredthe individualresultsin hernotebook.Furtherin wecut a littleclearingand,hiddenfromeverybody,had a littlerest.Then"borrowing"fromtheneighbouringslave,we constructeda new row and again calledthe supervisorto count.In the eveningeachof us had animposingrow ofneatlyarranged90 sheaves.One lives andlearns.The whole ideaof Russiancamps was for re-education,after all.We cared not muchif their totalfiguresdid nottally.The lakewas a breedinggroundfor mosąuitoes.Eachdaya ladyin a black dress gaveyellow tabletsto everybodyasa preventionagainstMalaria.The lady'snamewas Jagoda,thesister of a famous politicianwho had beengiven a deathsentencefor opposingStalinintheTrotskypurge in 1937. She,justas other membersof the family,was declaredguilty bythe sheer bad luckof belongingto the wrongfamily at thewrong time.Sucha human touch of Sovietlaw!Fromthe lakewe weresentto workin the gardensas tomatoesand cucumberswereready for harvesting.Atlonglastvitaminswerefreelyavailabie- wecould eat themto our heartscontent.Theonlypenaltywas severe dysentry.
FREEDOMIN RUSSIA
The day camefor our little group to be set free. Every-bodywas given temporarydocumentsand papersentitlingthemto a freepassage,alsosome"earned"money and a choice ofplace to go to and settle.In theorywecould go anywhere,er, providingit was in the Alma-Ataregion or the Tashkentarea.Bothplaceswerejustexotic names on a longforgottenmap.For som£reason we chose Alma-Ata.So on the 13thof September1941, watTchedby tearfuland morethanenviousRussianwomen,we climbeda big lorry and got a liftto the stationatAkmolinsk.Atlastfreedom,so often seenin our dreams reallyhad come. Being a thousandmiles fromhomewas not the ideałsituationbut our unshakablebeliefthatsoon, eventhatdreamwould cometrue, gaveus all the confidencein the world.Before leavingthe AkmolinskcampI receivedtwo parcelsfromhomeand two letters,in Russianof course to facilitate
15
censoring.There was sad news.My grandmotherand ourbelovedAuntiePoladiedsoonafter my arrest,there was nonewsof Dana'swhereabouts,nor Witek's.My father andstep-motherhad goneto her family nearLwówin the south ofPoland,as all the countryhad now becomeHitler'sextendeddomain.In one parcelI found my old parrot-colouredbathrobe, a nightie,a smali pillow and a tin cup (mug). Thepeople in Poland werestarvingbut somehow my family hadmanagedto scrape a bag of sugar,somebacon and a tin ofbiscuits.Every bit of foodwas generouslysprinkledwithmy hot and salty tears.Out of the multi-colouredrobeI createda three-ąuarterjacket padded withstolen paddingfromthe factoryand lined withmy lovelyembroiderednightie,it was a gooditemfor the coming second winterin Russia,and my old friend the sheepskincoatwas coming withus too.So, prividedfor any eventualityweboardeda train inthe generałdirectionof our destination- Alma-Atabut toget a connectionin the right way in those troubledtimes wasnot thateasy. There was a great exodus fromthe Ukrainębefore the advancingHitler'sarmy.Packed trainswerepass-ing continuouslyfromthe Westto the Eastbut not in a straightline.We had to go North first to Omskabout 500kmnorth fromKaraganda.Omsklieson the shores of the enormousSiberianRiver Irtysh - guite a majesticsight.Herethe first troublecame- no furthertrains wereavailableto the thousandsof waitingcivilians,no matterwhatnationality.All trains werefor the armyonly. Help-lesslyour littlegroup stood withhundredsof others.Wenoticedthatone young soldier was watchingus. You neverknowfromwhere helpmay come.The young Russiansoldiercameto us asking the usualąuestions"Whoare we, where arewegoing,etc."He was only18 and was going himselfin theoppositedirectionto joinhis regimentat the front.Soldierstravelledwithoutour problemsof course,havingpriorityon every formof transportespeciallygoing to thefront.He musthaveliked my long(bynow)plaitsperhaps,becauseafter a few hours of talkingand walkinground thesąuarehe suddenlycameup witha solution.He justgrabbedmy arm and draggedme to an Office at the other sideof thestation,an ArmyOffice to be precise.He toldthe surprisedofficerthathis familywas travellingto Alma-Atabut hadno transport.Couldhe havesomehelpas he was himselfgoing in the oppositeway,to the front.He got the necessarypassand ąuicklypushed all seven of us on to the goods trainwhich had justarrived.It was overcrowdedalready.Pietia managedto ask me our presumedaddress,waved an arm in saluteand the train withseven Polish girlslefthis life. W<5wereverygratefulfor his unselfishhelp,I evenreceivedoneletter fromhim forwardedto me at the kólhozwhere we finallyfound ourselves.I wonderwhathis chanceswereof coming outalive fromthiswar?MuchsmallerthanmineI should think.Atthe stops at variousstationsthe mainpursuitwas toąuicklydashto the restaurantand grabany foodavailable.On the stations,veryfunny to us but perfectlyreasonabletothe natives,a verybig slogan was displayed"We shall givemoreboilingwater to the Fatherland". Indeed,there werehotwater tapson the walls of every station,peoplewerealwaysdashingto these taps.Witha little boilingwater and somedry weeds pretendingto be tea leaves,one can producea life-saving drink.Manylives weresaved in thisway in the freez-ing climateof MotherRussia.The eternaljam jar on a pieceof string,a piece of dry bread in one's pocketwas a way oflife-careof the listeninggovernmentin the formof hot taps.Whatcould be betterfor survival?Stillthinkingthese loftythoughtsweslowlyrolled downSouth.One day after almost two weeks of travelsomestrangewhite clouds appearedhighup in the sky but their strangesharp shapes mademe lookup again.Theywerenot clouds butsnow-cladhighpeaks of mountains,the Tien-Shanrangę.Thetrain was coming to Alma-Ataat last,our unloadingpoint.Onceoutsidethe stationthe ąuestionarose whatto do next.The townitself,likemostsmaliRussiantowns consistedofwoodenhouses,a few biggeronesin the centre of the town,perhapsoffices,tree-linedstreetswithtrams and evenshelteredtramstops.There was verylittle traffic,lorrieswithchimneysat the sides and the fuelfor themwas providedby burningsmali logsand steam.The restof the trafficwasmainly donkeyswithcolourfulKazakhson top of the poorbeasts,and the wifewithan eąuallyheavy loadtrottingbehind.Myselfand Jankawerevotedby the others to go to thespecialoffice and ask for assistance.Our money had gone,foodwas almpst unobtainable,helpwas badly needed.In everytownthere was a specialoffice to helpnewly releasedprisoners(theturnoverin thiscountrywas fantastic). Sothere wewent,found the proper official,explainedoursituationand received30 roubleseachfor furtherexpenses.He alsoadvisedusto go to Talgar,a smalitown25kirsintothehills on the first availablelorry going there.KolhozMarks and Engelswas supposedto accept us forworkand accommodationbut the night was justabout to fali.
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1'
u
Wespent thisin the tram-shelteron my faithfulsheepskinf coatspread on the ground.Atthe first clankingof themorningtram, the timecameto moveon. Wemanagedto catcha lorry on the roadto Talgar and reportedto the Brigadier,the Headof the Kołchoz.Fromthislittletownanotherlorrytookus a further 5kmsto the KołchozHeadąuarters.KOŁCHOZIN TALGAR
The woodenshack withno floor and one longplatformtosleep 10 together,one ironboiler witha chimneypipęandthe table was to be our homefor the nextseven months,fromthe end of Septemberto Aprilthe followingyear.Nextdoorin anothersmali roomwas a young woman living withher 5 yearold child.Her functionwas to cookevery day a little"lepioszka"(fiat sortof sodabread)for eachof usandoncea day somecabbagesoupcalled "szczy".Thatwas servedto other workersif there was any workto do on the farm.All the other workerslived in Talgar in their own homesand onlycameto thisplacefor work.Atthistimeof theyearwe werestill harvestingthe variousproduceof thefields and orchards.Althoughthe apples werealreadygatheredfromtheir shelteredplots,there werestillmelonsof variousflavours,watermelons,vegetablesand potatoesto be lifted and sentby lorriesto the A-A stationandfurtherto the country.By the way,Alma-Atain Kazakhslanguagemeans"Father of the apples".In Octoberit wasgettingguite cold, the storage,a longIow buildingwas fuliof potatoes,in the fields big moundsof themwerecoveredwithstraw and soilready for the snowand frost.Wewerestill not ąuiteready withall thisharvestingwhenthe firstsnowcame. A littlebrook justoutsideour hut,our mainwatersupply,was muchtoo coldfor washingour clothesandourselves, and hairwashingwas a sheer nightmare.Anotherhugebuildingon the other sideof the yardwasan enormousstable for almost 100 horses.Their night watch-man was an old friend of oursand every night he usedtobring us big armfulsof coarse and pricklyweeds,un-eatenbythe horses.In thisway we had somefuelfor heatingwater,muchneeded for washing.In appreciationfor thisman's kind-nesswe keptguietabout his nightlytrips to the grain storęwhere he helped himselfto a few kg'sof wheatfor hisprivateenterprise.The month of Novemberbroughtfew changesto our routine,snowcoveredeverything.Still,Mika,one of our group used to loada rucksackfuliof potatoesand anythingelsewhiclfwasedible and walk5kmsto Talgar,where her friendHankaJanuszajtiswithher sister-in-lawand her two littlegirlslived,and relied on Mika's helpfor food.
THEBRIGADIER'STALE
Shortlybefore Christmasa new Brigadiertookoverthecharge of our kołchoz.He was a retiredRussianMerchantNavyOfficerfromOdessa,a Party member seekingrefuge and a jobin guieterparts thanhis homein the Ukrainę,occupiedbyHitler.Withhis wife,daughterand grand-childrentheyallfound themselvesin Talgar and he, as a Party member,heldapositionof someimportance- a Brigadier.Apart fromthenative Kazakh populationthere werenumerousRussianfamiliesdeliberatelyresettledbefore the war, to mix withbackwardtribesand to encouragea moreadvancedway of life.TheRussiansnever liked thisartificialsituation,the Kazakhs evenless, but bothsides wereafraid of voicingtheir opinionswhich was never safein Russia- you never knewwhenor whereit might be repeatedto yourperil.The new Brigadierliked totalkto us feelingsafeas noneof us was likelyto repeatanythingto anybody.In his youngerdaysas a sailor he travelledthe worldsowas considerablymoreknowledgablethanmostof his compatriots.In the first WorldWar he was fightingthe Austriantroops onPolish territoryand learneda bit of Polish.He liked torecallhis variousexperiencesfromthose early daysbut mostof all he talked a lot about his lastpostduring the beginningof the second war whenalready retiredin a civilianrole, hegot a job as an administratorof the newly occupiedlittlePolish townof Zloczow.Thiseastern"hole" was never in ouropinionanybody'sdream place.Smali,backward,forgottenbutnot for him.He often recalledthe happy daysin a townwhereeverybodyhad a radio,manyhouseshad flush toilets,motortaxis wereon telephonecaliand manysimilarsigns of "Kultura".His onlyremainingwishbefore his death was to go backonceagain to Zloczow.I met anotherdreamer,a boy of 16, a stable handalreadymarked for the armyin the nearfuturę,whosedream was to goto Sicily of which he had readin his school geographybook.I wonderif young Wolodiasurvivedthe war and if his dream wasallowedto cometrue.After all we do not see manytouristsfromRussia in the West...
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salvagethe still uncollectedcrops fromthe snow-cladfields.By chance we had found a little patch of frozen sweet carrotsand somegarlic outsideour hut and werestuffingourselveswiththem. I nearly paidwithmy lifefor thisfeast as mystomachedid not caremuchfor the frozenfoodand I faintedwhenvomiting,someof it wentthe wrong way, almost chokingme to death.Pneumoniadevelopedąuicklyand after 10 dayslying in a corner of the hut on the sheepskin,I somehowsurvived.Christmaswas coming fast. There was occasionalworkof loadinglorrieswithstored potatoesin our careand itearned eachof us a smalisum of money.I badly needed a newpairof bootsas my old oneswerealmost non-existentandsnowand frost coveredthe wholeworld.Aftera ąuick visitto the local market I managedto finda pairof highboots.The bóttom partwas madeof old tyres,the upper sewnto itmadeof stiff tarpaulin.It was all thismarketcould offer.The shops in Talgar had nothingbut vodka and ice-cream- wedid not wantor needeither of these.In Talgar there weresomemorePolish peoplelivingbesideHanka Januszajtisand her family.Her house was a centrepointfor variousgatheringsand meetingsso thistimeshe extendedher hospitality,organisinga ChristmasEveparty.We arrivedas usual withpotatoespinchedfromthestorę,garlic to remind us of salami and our daily ration oflepioszka.For thisspecialoccasioneveryonedug out somewellhidden items of clothing.Włada justturned her blackcoatinside-outrevealingbeautifulpersianlambfur on itsright side, which whenwornwithher highwhite boots,amazednot onlythe nativesbut usas well.In her pre-wardaysshe was a verywealthylady, she certainlylooked the parttonight.Mikafound someforgottenpiecesof lipstickand a big floweryshawl and withher jet black hair,looked likea princess.I abandonedmy multi-colouredjacket and put on a freshlypresentedgiftfromAmericanWar Aid, a plainblackanorak and lookedmorehuman for that. Admiredby everybodywe set out the 5kms. to Hanka'sarrivingat dusk.The littlegirls decoratedtheir bareroomwithpaper chains,sprucetwigs and set up a table withgoodieslovinglypreparedbytheir motherand aunt.Soonthe roomfilled up and everybodywas wishinga happierChristmasnextyear. Wewerehappy ofcoursethatthe era of the prison and labourcampwas overbut we werestill thousandsof milesawayfromour homes,infln inhumanland. Tearfullysingingcarols,finishingwithour nationalhymnwhich beginswiththe significantwords "Polandis notyet conąuered,whilst weare still alive" to the tuneofMazurkacalled "DąbrowskiMarch".It was too lateto attempta longwalkbackhomeat night and secretly,wewereafraidof the wolves,so tightly packed weslept the night on the floor.The year1941ended on foreignsoil.New Year1942broughtsomefresh hopein the personof anarmyofficerwith"Poland"on the sleevesof his strangeuniform.We could hardly believesucha beastexisted.Ameetingof all Polish peoplein the areawas called in Talgarand it was explainedto all presentthata new Polish Armywasbeingre-assembledcoming fromvariousprisons,camps,free-(?)resettlementsand suchlikeremote places.We allgavehim our names and weredułyenteredon to the listofprospectivesoldiers,withthe promisethatwewouldbe sentfor in the verynearfuturę.Our littlecommunitywas over-joyed.ThisOfficerlefta Polish newspaperbehindin whichpageafter pagecontainedentriesofpeoples' advertsseekingfor newsand addressesof their nearestand dearestlostinthishugecountry.I alsosentmy entry asking for any informationregardingmy sister Danaand cousin Witek.Soonin return a postcardarrived,not fromany ofthembut frommy Uncle Alexander,a former Police Inspector(I had no ideathathe too was inRussia), advisingme to go to Guzar in the republicofUzbekistanwhere anotherUncle,Josef,a formerArmyOfficerwouldbe waitingfor me and would takefurthercareof me.So the Brigadierissued an order to bakea sackfulof breadand myselfand two of my closestfriendsMikaand Janka,setoff to Alma-Atastationawaitingthe nearesttrain to Uzbekistan.The first night of thisfurtheradventurewespent sleeping on the floor along withmanyhundredsof other people,alsowaitingfor their trains.There was a curiousmixtureofhuman species.Mixed withlocal nativesthe Kazakhs,weremanyUzbeks,Kirgizmen,Russian,Polish and evenChinese,asit was not morethanlOOkms.fromthe Chineseborderin theTien-Shanmountains.Mostly though theywereof Mongołorigin,withtheir characteristicallyslantedeyes,smali statureandverycolourfulclothing.Fromhundredsof milesaround,fromall kinds ofsettlementsPolish people camewithhighhopesofbeing freed fromtheir two yearsof toil, starvationand deathin thiscountry of exile.
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MIGRATIONOFNATIONS. . .
y
I ^ ..whichmeans "WędrówkaNarodow"was in fuliswing.Anearly morningtrain tookus as far as Tashkentlatein thesameday.There it stoppedand everybodyhad to leave.Thereason for "allout"was increasinglycommon in those days.No-onecould travelunlessthe passof "sanobrabotka"wasproduced.Thatmeant going to the communalbath-house,ąueueingfor hours withliterallythousandsof others,havinga shower and delousingtreatment,after whichyourruinedclotheswerereturnedand you weregiven an appropriatecertificate.We did not wantany of thisand so madeour way to theticket office.whereanothercrowd waited but nearthewindowswe spottedtwo Polish Officersalmost withinthereach of the ticket seller.I madea bee-linefor themandasked themto buy three moreticketsfor us and theyreadilypromised.Theythemselveshad rather a hazyrecollectionofwhatwas going on, a result of somesamplingof the localwine.Unfortunatelythe ticket-officeclosed in their faces,however,due to our new friends1 exceptionallyhighconfidence,ourstoo was restored.Backat the platformgates the sound of the train coming was heard,onlyoneobstacleremained,the woman guard at the gates.The crowdstartedpushing,Stach and Jurek alsopushed us in front alongwithMika'sheavy rucksack.The woman at the barrierfelldownand in halfa second wesprintedintothe train.Onceinside everybodytookoff the easily recognisablecoats, minewas parrot-like,a suregive-away.Withinnocentfaceswe looked throughthe windowsat the commotionand at thepoorgirlshoutingin rage.She lostfaceand her prestigeand the train moved on. The conductorpretendedto seenothingas he shoved a new bottleof spirit intohis pocket- Stach and Jurek certainlyknewhow to pacify the enemy andgaina friend instead.There weretwo morestops likeTashkenton the way and finally,after three days,wearrivedat Guzar.I madeenguiriesas to the whereaboutsof my UncleJosef onlyto learn thathe, along withthe whole lot oforganisedbattallionshad goneto Persiain March,a monthearlier.Stach and Jurek had alreadyrejoinedtheir regimentsbut helped us withfoodfromtheir Officers1 Messkitchen.Mikacooked one mealin the eveningfromthe scraps brought ****tby the boysplussomenon poisonousweeds fromthe fieldsandthe restofour mouldy crumbs fromour Talgar bread.Thuswesurvived.My Uncle Oleswas not there either,being ill withTyphoidin Kujbyshew,hundredsof milesaway, so in the endthe three of us managedto findthe right office and gotacceptedintothe Army.Our immediateproblemsended,wehad food, tents tosleep in and uniformsin whichto dress - things werelookingup. And so on May 3rd,standingin our neatly formed rowsinthe bakingsun on the sideofthe hill,the newly formedPWSK(ATS) tooka solemn oathto serve day and night for thefreedom ofour belovedPoland.Fuliof hopewedid our introductorycourse in the armyway of life, thenthere werefurthercoursesto train indiv-iduals in varioussectionsof necessaryskills,nursing,administration,transportetc.Aftera few weeks my orderscameto jointhe 6th Battalionof Light Artilleryin Jakkobagas a Librariancum CanteenOfficerin the unit. There I meta few moregirls in the samekindof service,but in realityall of us werehardpressedintonursingduties as mostof themen wereseriouslyill withMalaria,Dysenteryand manymorestrangetropicalcomplaints.Manyweredying,helpwasdesperatelyneeded,drugs almost non-existent.I as a pros-pectivechemist-pharmacist,found myself at the backof thebattalionsurgery,a medicalstudentwas dealingwithpatients.My job was to mix three kinds of availablepowders,onlytheproportionwas changedfor eachpatient,the restwas lefttothe Lordabove.JAKKOBAG
HANKA'SSTORY
HereI met a beautifulgirlcalled Hanka only17, withwhommy friendshiphas survivedtillthisday 40 yearslater.In 1982I wentto Canada to visit her and her husband,Andrew.Theylivein Ottawa and their daughterand grand-childrennearToronto.PoorHanka had a veryhardtimein Russia.Herparentswiththree girls and a granny tried to escape theadvancingGermanarmyfromthe westerntownof Tczew,whereher father was a school Headmaster,to the easterntownofLwówto somerelations.Soonall the familywas capturedbythe "Liberators"- Russians- whosearmyhad justhelped HerrHitlerin the destructionof Poland,taking halfthe countryfor themselves.All visitorslegallydomiciledin the West
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werepackedintogoods trains and transportedwilly-nilly to. I Siberia,Kazakhstanor other eąuallyexotic lands,Theycalledit "Free resettlement".AsRussiansofficiallycameto freethe oppressedclassesfromthe exploitationof over-lords,how anyone could caliHanka'sfather an overlord?Perhapssomeoneherefromthe Communist.Party would liketoexplainor justify it. I can onlywonderat Mr. Benn'seternalgratitudeto the RussianState for their sacrificeinthe lastwar as he oncesaid, thussaving manyBritishlives.Doeshe not rememberany longer of their helpto Hitler in1939? Anyway Hanka'sfamily1s place of resettlementand workwas not far fromthe Chineseborder.Asonlytwo girls fromthe familywereableto work,the restbeing too youngortoo old or too sick, foodwas veryshort indeed.Hankaandher sister Krysia wereworkingin the goldmines and despiteverystrict searchesthe youngstersmanagedto smugglesomegolddustin their trouserbeltbuckles,which in turninthe moonlessnights,werecarriedacross the borderto Chinaand exchangedfor tea.Backon the Russiansideyou couldhaveas muchbreadfor yourtea as you could eat.Now Hanka and Andrew liveand workin Canada,havea comfortablehouse in Ottawa and anotherin Florida,wherethe climateis kindto her poorhands,ruined by the poison-ous workin Russiangoldmines.
EXITFROMRUSSIA
Two weeks before I leftGuzar my Uncle Olesarrived,thinand weakafter the widespreadillnessof Typhoidwhichclaimedmanylives ofthe weakand severelyundernourishedPolishpeople.Manychildrenwereleftorphaned,manyparentshad to burytheir childrenwiththeir barehands.I was lucky to surviveand not to catch anythingworsethanMalariaand Dysentery,but thatcamea little later.The summer of 1942was hot in these parts,the cottonfields wereripening.In Septemberour atmywas againgettingready for evacuation.Train after train loadtookus to the Southernpartof Russia to the CaspianSea;fromthe windowsof the train all wecould see was barrendesert,onlyoccasionallypassingsomewellknown placeslikeSamarkandand Bokharaor the mighty river Amu-Daria.On my way there I got my first attack of Malaria.I lay on my bunksemi-consciouswitha splittingheadacheanda hightemperature.On the third day the train stopped- everbodyout.The railwaylines werehighup an embankmentand it was necessaryto jumpstraightdownintothe sand, a heightof at least 10 feetwithall our gear, a big rucksack,a smali one,a kit-bag,all on the shoulders.Loadedlikethatafter my jumpI could not get up but my kindfriend Mika,seeing my predicament(aftermy bad attack of Malaria), cameto my rescue.Wfe thenmanagedto slide downthe embankmentonto the roadleadingto the portofKrasnowodskon the Russiansideof the CaspianSea.The heavy luggage was taken on thelorriesbut weand the soldiersweretoldto march the 5 milesto the beach and await furtherorders.The Russianship"Zdanow"was supposedto ferry us to theother side, to the portin Iran- Pahlevi.Indeed after three i dayscampingon the beach,Zdanowarrivedbut not beforeI experiencedanothertraumaticmomentJAll our personalbelongingswhich weredułymarkedwithregimentalcodes and numbersweredumped intobig piles on thebeach,unitby unit.Everybodymanagedto findtheir own withthe exceptionof myself and one Lieutenant,OlekŚwiercz.Itwas veryimportantto get hołdof the smalibag in which ourpersonaldocumentswerekept, as everybodyin Russia (forthatmatterin all Communistcountries), no person exists unless itsaysso on his identitypaper,so our whole exitfromRussiawas in guestion.Bothof us checkedfor the hundredthtimeuntil darkfellthen. withheavy heartswehad to stopuntil thenextmorning.TotallydepressedI rejoinedmy luckiermates,dug a little holein the sandand fellasleep.In the earlymorningsomebodyshook my arm,it was Olekwitha triumphantsmile on his face, he had found bothour bagson the otherregimenfspile,wronglydumped by carelesssoldiers.O,whata relief ... We had our papersafter all which would takeusout of thisunpleasantcountrywhereso manywereleftforever.
SEACROSSINGRUSSIANSTYLE
Two moredayscampingby the pierand thenweembarkedinan organisedway on to the waitingship. It was a verysmalishipto accommodateall these waitingpeople.Not onlywerethere armyunits but a lot of civilianstoo,severalhundredsof them, and an orphanage,so the space to sit on our piledgearwas verysmali,not evena hopeof lying downfor thesickor weak,wejustsat likebroken sardines.There wasjustenough roomfor the senior officersand a few of us ATSgirls under the swayinglifeboats on top deck. I climbedintoone of the boatsand remainedthere for the whole of the
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day,for the night Mikaand I crawledto the forbiddenzone^- a corridoron the Captain'sdeck.Sleepingtightlyby thewalithe crewhad to stepoverus swearing,but we justdidnot care.The Crossingwas rough and as everybodysufferedfromDysenterythe gueue to the toiletsbuiltup on eachsideofthe lower deckand was longand continuous.Onceyou wentthroughthe gueue you had to takeyourplaceat the end againas waitingfor a fresh visit was longenough to becomeanurgencyagain.Manyyoung childrenfromthe orphanagecouldnot stand the dreadfuljourneyand manyelderlycivilians,weakenedby variousdiseasesdiedduring the 24 hourCrossingand had to be buriedat sea.An auntof my goodfriend hadsucha burial.The followingday the shipanchoredwelloutsidethesmaliand shallowportof Pahlevi.A smallerboatcamealongsideand halfof the passengershad to jumpintoit.Women and childrenfirst in the old internationaltradition,the other halfhad to waitfor their turnto be transportedto the pier.Wewerelucky to be includedin the first con-signment.The sea becameveryrough,it was impossibletobringthe smali boatalongsideand the restof the passengershad to waitfor two moredaysfor their ferry to dry land.There weremoreburialsat sea.The onlycomfortfor thesea-sickwas moreroomon the decks to be sickon, so whenfinallytheyjoined us theyhad one morediseaseto copewith- a Jaundice.On the landingpiera surprisewas awaitingthe poorvictimsfresh fromthe Zdanow- a Polish orchestragreeteduswiththe Polish NationalAnthem.Surprisewas too weaka wordto expressour feelings,manykneeledand kissed theground of the freeworld,thankfulto be deliveredfromthedevil to the promisedlandof freedom.There was not a dryeye around;despitethe factthatwar was still on, wewereso muchnearer to our goal.The short distanceto our allocatedsectionof thebeach and temporarytents was interruptedby a check-point,the sanitarypost.Herewe all had to go for a shower,hairwashand our clotheswerefumigatedto excludeany potentialinsect stowawayfromRussia,so cleanedup, a fresh set ofuniformswas issued - tropicalones,suchas shorts,airtexshirts etc.Septemberwas stillwarmenough to swimin the sea,torestand to eat strangefoodwhich was abundantin dates,pomegranatesand hardboiledeggs,soldby the local boys. The first paymentof a few toumans(Persian currencyat thattime) enabledus to buy these things and a few others in thePersiankiosk along the beach.Thesealsoserved as a veryimportantfreePostOffice where weleftall sorts of messages,mostly noticesof our arrival,enguiriesfor families,friendsand suchlike. Mikalefta messagegiving detailsof ourarrivalforHanka Januszajtiswho had arrivedin March and wasin Teheran.Veryshortlya reply cameasking for a meetingin a smalirestauranton the outskirtsof Pahlevi,nearour camp. Ourpreviouspromisethatthe first one to arrive to the freeworldwould stand a propermealfor the other two,was to bearranged,and Hanka would treat us to it. Mikaand I dułyobtainedpassesfor the afternoonand wemet at thismodesteating place.Firstthere weretearfulgreetingsand talkofhow,where,etc., thencamethe food- a wholeroastedchickenfor eachofus, a treat wehad beendreamingoffor a long,longtime.Mikaand Hankaate steadilythroughthislucullusfeast but my stomachehad shrunk and I managedonlyhalfofmine,coming to a painfulhalt.I could not swallowone morebit,fulistop. Mikaand Hanka did not forgiveme for thistillmanyyearslater.HereI met my UncleOlesbrieflyagain but shortlyhisunitmovedawayand westayed for a furthertwo weeks on thebeach.Soonafter the sea was so rough we had to stopswimm-ing as the black flagwas hoistedat the edgeof the surf.Thenthe lorriescameto collectalmosteveryonefor a fourday journey across IranthenIrag. It was all go, througha moon-likelandscape,along dry highmountainsof variousshadesof yellow,beige,brown and fawn.In the deepvalleyswheresomestreamsflowed there was a littlegreeneryand somehumanhabitation.At veryrarestops Arabs appearedand offeredfor saledates,grapes and other deliciousthings,the onlytroublewas we had no money to buy them, stillthe armyprovideduswithdry rationsand tea for eachday'stravel.For the night westoppedat the pre-arrangedcamps atKazwin,Hammadanand Kermanshahand early morningafter someblack tea and a piece of breadthe backbreakingdrive startedagain.The local driversengagedfor the transporthad theirown ideas as to the speed and economy.The ascent wentąuitesedately,cuttingcornersbut going downengineswereswitchedoff (saving petrol)and the speed was likea racetrack.Wejustsat tightlyholdingon to the sides of the lorry and pray-ing thatnothingwould comefromround the corner in the
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oppositedirection.Drivingat fastspeed and lateintothe : night keptus all frightenedand ąuiet until the nextstop.Atsomepoint wecrossedthe Iran-Iraąfrontier.It wasrather funny to see the customofficialscomeout for theheadcount and to check the papers.Theywereveryelegantlydressedon top in SavilleRow jacketswornoverlongrobeswhichlookedmorelikelongnight-dresses. On their headstheyalways woretooth-checkedheadscarveswithone or moredarkbands - veryexotic tea towels.The laststopwas Khanaąinwhich was to be our homeforone month.On the leftbankof the large and fastRiverDiyal thousandsof palegreytents werespread to the horizon.Eachregiment,eachunithad its own allocatedterritory.Ourswas signposted6th PAL.Our tentslept six whereeachof us had enough roomto put a folded blanketdown,anotherto cover us and the remainderof our gearabove the head.One could stand up in the middle.The weatherwas fineto beginwithand in the warm,sunny afternoonswe had a few freehours inbetweenworkingin the little regimentalshopsellingtoothpaste,razors anddates and in the eveninglookingafter the canteenin a verybig tent, servingrefreshmentsto the soldiersand lendingour smali supply of books.Afternoonswereat our disposalwhenevery other day wewentto a river,now three to fourmilesawayto do our laundry.
KHANAQIN
The banks of thisfastflowingriver werepackedwithsoldiersof all kinds and colour all withthe sameidea.There wereIndians,Australians,Canadians,BritishevenGurkaswiththeir curved knivesand Sikhs withtheir plain,regulationturbans.Khaki was the colourof everything,nowonderI do not careany morefor thisparticularshade,I think it is called "over-exposure".On the oppositebankwasa verybig oil refineryeternallybelchingblacksmoke,threateningus withsootwhenthe windwas blowingin thewrongdirection.One day an unexpectedpresentcamemy way. A Sikhsoldier was washinghis turban whena strangeobject flewhis way.After fishingit out and examiningsame,he smilinglyofferedit to me. Asit happenedit was a pairof ladiesgreen armyknickers,ofno use to him,someunluckyATS girlhad lostthemin the washhigher up the river and I gainedan extra pairofunderwearwhich was in veryshort supply. Octoberwas almost uponus and the weatherstartedshow-ing a new and nasty side. The strongwinds called Hamsinsinthispartofthe worldblewsharp,blindingsandwiththem.Mostof our tents wereflattenedand our clothesblown hundredsof yards to the neighbouringregiments.Friendlysoldiersreturnedthemafter goodhumouredjoking,often modellingsomeof the garmentsthemselvesor demandingransoms.In the endwegot our things backand our tents weresecuredonceagain.The generałshakingof blanketsfollowedfor the nextfewhours until the nexthamsin,and the nextmorningsaw a bigexodusto the river for a Wholesaleclean up. The unwrittenlaw was,as the local Arabs believed,thatafter fivecontin-uousdaysof the nerve-rackingwind,if an Arabkilled one ofhis wivesthere was no prosecutionfor his actions.Allahforgave him as the windwas to blame.Thenthe rains came,bywhich timewehad movedsomedistanceawayto Kizil Ribatt.The first night was nothingshort of catastrophic.Ournewly erectedtentwhich was not veryfirmlysecured,collapsedduring the night's galeand wegatheredour soaked blanketsand clothingand spent almost the wholenight in the sick-baytentwhich was morestronglybuilt.Nextmorningthe damagewas repaired,clothesdried and no moreaccidentsoccurred.The winterroutinewas workedout for all units.We werenowpartof the 8th BritishArmyfromthe day of landingon thePersiancoast.Asthe Britishorganisationwas differentfromthe Polish wehad to reorganiseourselvesand adopt to newwaysof doing almost everything.Althoughthe winterin thedesert was not a verypleasantone,the flimsytents gavelittleprotectionfromthe coldwindand rain, there was nosnow. We still workedin the 6 PAL shop-cumcanteen,now muchbettereguippedand alsostartedpreparationsfor Christmaswitha little showand dance (Mazurka and Kujaviak)for a verymodestcelebrationwiththe battalion,making colourfulnationalcostumesfor these wellknown nationaldances.The Christmasof 1942was verydifferentto the one theyearbefore.Wehad food, shelterand weremanymiles fromRussia,the factthatwebelongednow to the mighty 8th Armyadded a feelingof securityand hope.On ChristmasEve after MidnightMassout in the open,everyonehad the samewishagain,thatthe nextone would surelybe at home- in Poland.Beingso far fromEuropęno-one knewfor surewhatwasgoing on there.Lackof communicationwas a terriblebarrierto any joy.We had no ideawhatinhumantreatmentEuropean
